


Science Projects And Bullies

by Angel_Of_Darkness1



Category: Phandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hate, High School, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Phan Angst, Phan Fluff, Phan Smut, Phanfiction, School, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-06-06 22:24:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6772675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Of_Darkness1/pseuds/Angel_Of_Darkness1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan Howell is one of the popular kids who is invited out to parties all the time and is every one's friend.</p><p>Phil Lester is one of the losers who is hated by everyone and beaten up everyday by Dan and his friends..</p><p>So when Phil finds out that he has a science project, and his partner is the one and only <em>Dan Howell,</em> you can only imagine why he is so absolutely terrified and done with life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys just a quick lil note. If I don't update by the time I say I will update by then feel free to pester me in the comments and stuff until I do :3 Usually it's just because I forget. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored and I love these types of fics, so I thought I'd write a Phanfic like it! I don't really have much to say at the moment other than hope you like the first chapter and the next one might be up tonight because I'm bored and I like writing Phanfictions so yeah! Enjoy <3

**Phil's POV**

I dragged myself along the path as I made my way to the one place I hated more than home; _school_. I began to shiver, it was cold out today and I forgot to pick up a jumper before I left. I tried my best to take as long as possible to get to the hell hole, but I arrived there eventually after just 20 minutes of walking.

I would get driven to school, but my parents refuse to. They say it's a 'waste of their time' and 'I need the exercise anyway.' Well at least it gives me a few minuets to myself between the living hell that is school and the disaster that is my home.

I reluctantly walked through the hallway on my way to science class and I kept my head down to avoid being seen by anyone that could beat me up.

So basically, I was trying to avoid the _whole fricking school._

Of course, because the universe has to be against me, keeping my head down didn't seem to work as I managed to walk straight into someone, causing me to trip and fall over on them sending us both crashing down to the ground.. Great.

"What th-" a familiar voice shouted as I lay on top of them. It was clear to me now that I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life, because I could recognise that voice anywhere. I had fallen on to of Dan Howell... One of the schools 'it' boys. One of the popular kids. One of the many,  _many_ bullies in this school.

I scrambled off of him and straight up to my feet quickly and started speed walking myself away from the situation as fast as I possibly could, but then, or course,  I somehow got stopped..

"Hey, look who it is, _Loser Lester!"_ Said a very mischievous looking Chris Kendall as he walked through the hallway doors that were in front of me. "Now why are you in such a hurry?" He asked smugly before he looked down to see Dan getting up from the floor.

"Dan? What the fuck?" Chris asked questioningly, "That little bitch just _knocked_ me over!" Dan shouted angrily as he marched towards me menacingly.

"You little fuck face! Who the hell do you think you are?" Chris spat viciously as he pushed me backwards causing me to trip over my own feet and fall on my ass.

As Dan walked up to me he kicked me on the side, not too hard, but not very gently either, before walking away again.

"Come on Chris. I can't be bothered wasting my time with this piece of shit!" He stated and Chris followed.

"Fag" He mumbled under his breath as he chased after Dan who was already marching away. I sighed heavily before pulling myself back up to my feet again and carrying on with my journey to science class.

I opened the door to the room to find that class had already started, _great_.

 _Now it's time to get shouted at by another person!_ I thought to myself as I walked towards my desk at the front of the class.

"Mr. Lester! Why on earth are you so late?" Mrs. Beale screeched at me causing me to flinch slightly. I opened my mouth to say something but she began shouting again before I could say anything.

"That was a rhetorical question! Don't act like an idiot now, Phil!" She shouted, earning a few chuckles out of the class.

I'm pretty sure that she is violating some kind of rule by calling me an idiot, but whatever, it's not like there's anything I can do about it...

Mrs. Beale has always had it in for me since she first joined this school, because some of the other kids pulled a stupid prank on her where they drew a dick on her lab coat and blamed it on me. It was kind of a lame prank if you ask me, but then again, what do I know?

I mumbled a quick "sorry" before finally sitting down and resting my chin on my hands. She gave me one last evilly smug look before lecturing the class about how being late is against the rules, it was mainly aimed at me, as you may have guessed, but I just rolled my eyes and ignored her.

"Right then class, now that we've gotten that over and done with!" She paused and glared at me, "I would like to inform you that I have a new project for you all to start working on as homework!" She said folding her arms as she heard a few people sighing with boredom.

"As most of you are aware of, the science fair is coming up soon, and I would like all of you to participate. You can do whatever, If you're not the _creative_ type, I suggest creating a detailed poster about something of your choice. But I will be expecting _all_ of you to do _something!"_ She informed the students sternly.

"Of course, I wouldn't make you do this on your own. So you will all be working with a partner." She stated, and all of a sudden the class seemed to perk up, and everyone began giving their friends looks.

This seemed to make Mrs. Beale very amused.

"Oh, sorry did I not make this clear? I have _already_ chosen a partner for each of you!" She said and she pulled a piece of paper out of her desk and began reading from it.

Everyone returned to their usual, _miserable_ selves as they realised they weren't going to be working with their friends.

I zoned out for a few minutes as I listened to every ones reactions when they found out who their partner was. Some reactions were good, and some were bad. And then, all of a sudden I heard _my_ name being called out.

I stiffened as I prepared myself for whatever asshole I was going to be put with. And when she said it, My eyes widened and I felt my heart _literally_ drop.

It couldn't be...

"Philip Lester... And Daniel Howell." She announced with a stupid evil smile spread across her lips. I heard a few people whispering, and I thought about it for a second, before _finally_ brining myself to turn around and look at Dan to see his reaction. 

I turned around cautiously and looked over to the seat at the back in which Dan was sat in.

His face was red with anger. If this were a cartoon, I was pretty sure that there would be steam physically coming out of his ears right now.

His eyes were narrowed and suddenly they flicked away from the teacher and towards me. He narrowed them even more when he saw me looking straight back at him.

I turned around quickly and began shaking from how much I was panicking. I was sure I was about to have a panic attack. Mrs. Beale finished reading out all of the pairs and shoved the paper in the bin before looking up at the class.

"As I take the science fair  _very_ seriously, I will expect you all to be meeting up with your partners outside of school at some point to work on your projects. I would also like all of you to move next to your partners now and discuss what you want to do your project about!" She said before spinning back round and reading emails on her computer. "Oh, and once you've moved it will stay your permanent seat, okay?" she continued before resuming her email reading.

My heart began beating faster as I heard everyone moving about and sitting next to their partners and chatting about their projects.

 _Why does everyone have to hate me?_ I thought to myself as I turned around and looked at Dan again to find he was making no effort to move.

I guess that means I have to go sit at the back of the class with him then..? Oh God, I just don't even know...

Pretty much everyone had moved now other than Dan and me, and it was clear to me that he wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

This gave me only one thing left to do.. I took a deep breath before picking my bag up from the floor and slowly making my way over to the seat that was directly next to Dan's.

I didn't look anywhere near him as I sat down at my new permanent seat. I was to scared to look at him, I was scared of his reaction, and I was scared of what he might do to me. Instead of talking to him, I sat there staring at the desk as I fiddled with my hands nervously.

I didn't expect him to talk to me to be honest, I just expected him to go off and talk to his friends or something. _And that is exactly what he did._ He got up from his seat and went to sit with some of his friends before making conversation with them as I sat here alone with nothing to do.

I didn't mind though, as long as I wasn't being shouted at or punched by Dan or something then I didn't care what he did.

Of course, after five minutes Mrs. Beale caught on to what was happening and decided to come over and ruin things for everyone. "Excuse me Mr. Howell, but I thought I told you to sit with your partner and discuss the project?" She said as she tapped her foot on the floor with annoyance.

Dan looked away from his friends and glared at her angrily. "I am talking about the project." He stated coldly before turning back round to his friends and carrying on with the conversation.

"But you aren't sitting with your partner over here are you? What's wrong with Philip? Go sit with him  _now!_ Or you will be back after school for a detention"She demanded as she pointed her bony finger in my direction. Dan looked even more pissed off now, but not wanting an after school detention, he got up from his seat, and stomped back over next to me.

Mrs. Beale was still staring at him though and he rolled his eyes, "So...  _Philip._ When shall we work on this project of ours?" He asked in a spiteful tone and finally, Mrs. Beale seemed satisfied.

"Uh, Um.. I-I don't know.. I mean I don't _mind_." I stuttered out hopelessly.

He rolled his eyes once again before speaking, "Well you sure as hell aren't coming to my house. So You better go tell mummy that I'll be round to play soon!" He said in a patronising tone. 

I was so shaken up that I didn't even know what to say next.

"Um, uh well, when will y-you be f-free?" I asked as I scratched my head nervously.

He actually paused to think for a second.

I can understand why though, someone like him is probably invited to a different party every night. Unlike me, who has never been invited to a _single_ party in my life..

"I'm busy all week except for tonight, so give me your address now" he said as if he was bored. I didn't really feel safe giving him my address, but I had no choice.

I wrote it down on a piece of paper and handed it over to him. He shoved it in his pocket without glancing at it and pulled his phone out under the table, once again ignoring me. Which once again, I was _okay_ with. 

I began to think about what my parents would say when he turns up to my house, I hope to dear God they don't embarrass me or anything. Not that it really matters if they embarrass me because I'm all ready the laughing stock of the school.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice Dan saying my name. He tapped me on the shoulder causing me to jump and almost fall off my chair. He rolled his eyes at this before handing me his phone.

I was slightly confused at first, but I looked down at his phone to see that it read  _'_ _create new contact'_ on it.

Then, well, I was actually even more confused...

"Uh.. What do you want me to d-do with this?" I asked stupidly and he sighed impatiently, "Put your number in _duh_. I'll text you before I leave, idiot." He stated as if it were obvious. Which I guess It kind of was.

I hesitated for a moment before giving in and typing my number in to his phone. I was terrified really. I didn't want Dan Howell, one of the popular boys in  _my_ house! what if he turned up with all of his friends and decided to beat me up in front of my parents or something?

I really hoped he didn't, my parents all ready think I'm enough of a loser, and I don't need Dan to give them _proof_ that I am...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay first chapter done, hope you liked it! Like I said the next one will probably be up later tonight because I'm bored so yeah! Look forward to that<3


	2. Chapter 2

**Dan's POV**

The first thing I did when I got home from school was change into some different clothes. I hated school uniform and there was no way I was going to some ones house in it, even if it was Phil fucking Lester's house.

I was so annoyed at Mrs. Beale, of course she would make  _me_ be partners with Phil.

I just can't imagine what his room is going to be like, probably full of books and shit. Not that there's anything wrong with books, I love reading, but I mean, come on? He is such a loser!

I put on some black jeans and a muse t-shirt that none of my friends seem to appreciate because they have shit taste in music. I don't expect Phil to appreciate it either, he's probably wearing some stupid top that says 'I love books' on it or something. Oh God, just thinking about going to his house makes me want to cringe.

I hope he doesn't have weird parents that will kick me out of the house at 8 because it's 'Phil's bed time!' Because despite the fact that I would love to get out of there as quickly as possible, I hate those pushy parents that treat you like a five year old. And besides, I messaged him a minute ago saying I'm leaving at 6 and if I am being forced to go there, I want to at least get _some_ work done. There's no way I'm going to  _Phil's_ house for nothing.

I looked at my phone to check the time, it was 5:00 pm, I was planning on leaving at six but I'm not really doing anything right now, Phil's house is like a 10 minute walk from here but considering I'm doing fuck all I may as well just leave now.

I grabbed my black jacket that had way to many zips on it before rolling up the sleeves and leaving the house, no one was home at the moment so I didn't bother telling anyone I was going out.

I checked the address on the piece of paper that Phil had given me in science today just to double check I knew where to go, and luckily I did, so I began walking in the direction to Phil's house.

I was walking quite slowly, but It turns out Phil's house is closer than I'd initially thought it was and I ended up reaching the house within 7 minutes...

I sighed before I reluctantly rang the doorbell. I heard shuffling from the other side of the door and after a few seconds it opened, revealing a woman who I supposed was Phil's mum.

"Uh. Hi, I'm here for Phil?" I said kind of nervously. The woman was staring at me questioningly.

"Right, here for _Phil"_ She replied as if I was joking as she laughed a little, "Okay, well come in then." She said flatly like she couldn't care less before stepping aside and gesturing for me to walk in.

She closed the door behind me and started to walk towards the kitchen where there was a man sat smoking a cigarette who hadn't seemed to notice me yet.

"Phil's room is upstairs on the room to the left. He's in the shower at the moment but you can wait for him in there." She said, in a slightly more welcoming tone than earlier.

All of a sudden what she said clicked in my brain. Phil was in the shower? For fucks sake. Why must he make everything awkward.

I walked up the stairs and opened the door to the left that the woman, _Phil's mum_ , had said was Phil's room.

When I walked in I didn't really pay much attention to the room, I was more interested in my phone at the moment. I found my way to the bed and sat on in before finally putting my phone back in my pocket and taking my first look at the room I was sat in.

The first thing I noticed was that his room was full of colour. I began to look around, When I had imagined Phil's room I'd imagined it as a plain room with a couple of boring books in it, but no.. What I was looking at right now was quite the opposite.. There was so much to look at that I didn't know what to look at first! I decided on the posters, I looked at the walls to find some band posters. There was Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Muse.. And you just can't miss the massive Buffy poster.

I was pretty fucking surprised if I'm honest. There was a little lion toy sat at the end of his bed and there were a few more cute plushy things scattered around his room. Next to the t.v there was a play station and a Wii and I immediately left the bed and ran to them so I could check out what games he has. There are a lot.. Mario, sonic and loads more of the games that I have at home. The next thing I noticed, was a bunch of anime box sets on a shelf.

There was a lot of cool ones including Death Note, Sword art online and Attack on titan. How was it that some loser like Phil seemed to like more of the stuff that I do, than my own friends? Life is strange. I picked up one of the anime boxes that I'd never heard of, It was called Magi. It looked quite interesting, I made a mental note to remember the name of this anime. Just as I was looking at it the door to Phil's room swung open causing me to jump and almost drop it on the floor.

I looked up to find Phil standing there with a towel wrapped dangerously low on his waist... His eyes widened at the sight of me and he instantly pulled the towel up higher and folded his arms in what looked like an attempt to hide his body. He stood there uncomfortably, clearly not knowing what to do.

"Oh.. Um I'll uh, g-get changed in the bathroom.." he stuttered nervously before grabbing the pile of clothes that was on his bed and rushing out the door as fast as he could.

I quickly shoved the box set back on Phil's shelf and rushed back over to the bed. That was when I caught a glimpse of myself in Phil's mirror, and I was... Blushing? Oh God this is embarrassing. I started fanning my face with my hands in an attempt to get rid of the redness but it wasn't working. I don't even know why I was even blushing anyway, It's him that should be embarrassed, not me.

In the five minutes that I was waiting for Phil, luckily my face had lost its bright red colour and returned to it's normal colour. The door opened and Phil came in again, except this time he was wearing clothes. He was wearing some black skinny jeans, similar to mine, and a blue plaid shirt. He had clearly forgotten to sort his hair out though, because it was slightly wet and messy. It didn't look horrible, It was just not his usual style, "Your hair." I said flatly and he stared blankly at me. 

"What?" He asked confused and I rolled my eyes, "your hair is messy?" I said as I raised an eyebrow. When I said this his face turned a dark red colour and he turned to look in the mirror. His eyes widened slightly when he realised how wild his hair looked at the moment and he started sorting it out immediately.

When he finished he turned back around and faced me, his face still a dark red colour. "So uh, what d-do you want to do for the project?" He asked nervously as he fiddled with his hands. I noticed he does this a lot when he's nervous. I shrugged my shoulders making no effort to participate in the planning of the project whatsoever.

Finally, rather than just standing there, he walked over to his desk and sat down at the chair, thankfully not on the bed next to me. "Well.. If y-you don't know, I already have some ideas. But I don't mind.. I think we should just stick to a simple p-poster." He stated as he looked around the room shyly. "I-I mean.. I don't mind" He added quickly at the end. "Yeah whatever. I don't care" I said nonchalantly and I pulled my phone out of my pocket to see if I had any new messages, as my phone had been on silent.

When I saw that I had no messages I rolled my eyes before switching off mute and shoving my phone back in my pocket. Just as Phil looked like he was going to say something, the door swung open and Phil's dad barged in causing both me and Phil to jump.

"Philip Lester! We need to have a word about your grades!" He shouted so loud that I jumped again. Phil's dad looked around the room angrily before finally spotting me and softening his facial expression slightly. "Sorry, I didn't realise Phil had a guest." He apologised and I smiled slightly in reply. "I'll talk to you later then!" He stated in a scarily angry yet subtle tone.

He closed the door harder than he needed to and I looked over to Phil to find him shaking slightly. I was quite confused, maybe Phil did something to piss him off earlier? I don't know. Well last time I checked Phil was like, the smartest in our class. It's not my business any way so whatever.

Just as I was thinking about how bored I was, my phone began to ring. I answered it quickly hoping that I could use it as an excuse to leave and I heard Chris' voice. "Hey dude we're all going over to Felix's house for a mad party, you in?" Chris asked down the phone, "yeah, I'll be there soon!" I said thankfully before hanging up and getting up from the bed.

"Wait!" Phil shouted just as I was about to leave the room. I squinted my eyes at him, why was he all brave and shit all of a sudden..? "Uh.. What about t-the project?" He said back to his stuttering self again. "It can wait." I said flatly before practically running out of his room.

As I was walking out of his house I walked past his brother Martyn. He seemed to be with some of his friends. "I'll fucking bash his face in! The little gay fag!" He shouted at his friends as they laughed with him.

They didn't seem to recognise me or take any notice of me as I walked past them, they were clearly too angry with someone about something.

I sighed and made my way towards Felix's house. I wasted 20 valuable minutes in that house doing _fuck_ _all_ , I could do with a fricking party right now rather than hanging out with that _weirdo_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and kinda boring chapter so sorry. There will be another chapter tomorrow though and I assure you it'll be much more interesting.  
> Anyway, hope you liked it! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING**  
> I don't wanna spoil this chapter for you guys so all I'm gunna say is that if you feel you might get triggered by anything in the tags then this chapter might not be for you. <3

**Phil's POV**

As soon as Dan left I knew my dad would be straight back in my room to have that 'talk' about my grades, and I was _right_.

I heard my dad stomping up the stairs before he swung my door open again.

"I just got off the phone with one of your teachers young man!" He said as he shook his head and sighed.

"You only got half marks on a maths test? I can't _believe_ this. I try my best to get you kids to study hard and do well in school but no! You never do as your told.. I'm disappointed in you Phil." He said and folded his arms angrily.

"Sorry! You know I work hard. I barely leave the house because I'm so busy studying all the time" I replied as I tried to reason with him.

"Yeah? Well clearly you haven't been trying hard enough. And don't you dare use _not leaving the house_ as a excuse, we both know the real reason for that." He said coldly.

My dad has always been disappointed in me because 'I should be more like my brother _Martyn_.'

"Oh yeah? And what _is_ the reason for me not leaving the house then?" I asked stupidly.

I knew the answer, and I don't even know why I decided to question him further on it. He raised an eyebrow before shaking his head again in disappointment.

"Get some friends kid. Be fucking  _normal_ for once in your life" He said quietly before leaving the room. It's not the first time he's said that, but every time he does say it, it hurts a little more, because it reminds me of how much of a _loser_ I am.

Don't you think I would get some friends if I could? It's not my fault that absolutely every thing I like 'isn't cool' as my brother says. But I guess he's right, I mean who would like anime, Muse and fricking video games? Only a _loser_ like me.

If I could find someone that liked everything I did I would try hold on to them for as long as possible, but unfortunately there isn't anyone else like me. No one else is a _'loser fag'_ like me.

I sighed heavily before deciding on skipping dinner and listening to some music or something.

I plugged my headphones in and put my playlist on shuffle, the first song that played was 'The end' by My Chemical Romance.

Gerard's all too relatable words played through the headphones- "If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out first hand what it's like to be me."

I sat on my bed as I listened and stared at my Buffy poster.

Half way through the second song there was a loud bang at my door, I took out my headphones as it swung open revealing an angry looking Martyn and a few of his friends.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" He shouted at me as if I'd done something wrong _._

"What do you mean?" I asked confusedly as I stood up. "My friend Mark here has been telling me all about how you were _eyeing_ him up at school you fucking fag!" He shouted angrily as Mark and the rest of his friends laughed.

What the fuck!? I was so confused.. I hardly ever see Mark in school.. Was he.. Lying? Oh my God, that little _shit!_ Why would he do that?

"Um.. That never happened, I _swear"_ I insisted, causing Martyn to roll his eyes furiously.

"Sure, because I'm going to believe a loser like _you_ over my friend, you ass face" He said before walking up to me and throwing a full force punch towards my face. I went to cover myself with my hands but I wasn't fast enough.

I stumbled over my feet and fell backwards on to my bed again. Martyn mumbled something under his breath along the lines of "Fucking Fag" or "Fucking loser fag." Either way, it caused his friends to laugh and finally they all left me alone.

I placed my hand against the bottom of my jaw where he had hit me and instantly regretted it because it hurt like mad.

What did I ever do to deserve such a shit life? I didn't even realise I was crying until a tear fell from my face and onto my hand. It was at that moment that I realised I was actually quite hot, so I rolled my sleeves up hoping to cool down, but instead of cooling down, I ended up staring at the three healing cuts that were lined up against each other on my wrist..

I had done this to myself two days ago, but they were quite deep, so they hadn't fully healed yet.

I never really attempted self-harm before until the other day, it was just something I had heard about and after a while, I finally decided to try it out. It was weird, nothing like I thought it would be, although I'm not really sure what I expected slicing a _pencil_ _sharpener_ blade though my skin would feel like.

The only reason why I did it was because I felt worthless at the time, quite like I do now, and I wanted to ease the pain.. Surprisingly, it had actually helped a bit, so I hid the blade in my Phone case in case I ever felt like shit again. I feel like shit now...

I hesitated for a moment before pulling my case off of my phone and picking up the small blade.

There was a split second where I tried to talk myself out of this, but there was no hope. I sighed before closing my eyes, placing the blade against my wrist next to the other cuts, and I did it.

I dragged the blade along my wrist fast, It hurt, and there was quite a lot of blood.. Luckily I had some tissues next to my bed and I placed it over the cut.

I didn't feel like that was enough, I felt better, but I still felt like jumping out my fricking window. So I carried on like this for the next minute, and when I finally stopped there were six new deep cuts along my wrist. I hoped that In the future I wouldn't have to do this to my self, but I knew that that wasn't going to be the case. I sighed and rolled over on my bed, I didn't feel like staying up much longer, which was strange because usually I stayed up until 2 am almost every night.

Tonight was different though, and  I was just too tired to care.

**Dan's POV**

I took one last shot of vodka before leaving the kitchen of Felix's house and going up the stairs in search for the bathroom.

I was pretty tipsy by now, so I accidentally walked into a few rooms which weren't the bathroom. Instead they were bedrooms occupied with drunk teenagers moaning loudly at each other as they fucked like no one else was in the house. 

When I finally found the bathroom I sighed with relief and unzipped my trousers so I could go to the toilet.

A few seconds later I finished, zipped my trousers back up and turned around forgetting to flush the toilet because I was so drunk.

When I turned around there was a girl standing there, I recognised her from school, I think her name was Rebecca or something... She hangs out with my friends sometimes but we never really talk.

"Um, Hi?" I said, not really knowing why she was staring at me like she was.

She smirked slightly, "Watcha doin' up here all alone?" She asked as she played with her hair.

I raised my eyebrow, wasn't it obvious? I was taking a fucking _piss_.

She kept on eyeing me up and down and I was starting to get a little weirded out.

"Um.. Using the toilet?" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"You're Dan, right?" She asked as she came a bit closer.

"Yeah"

"Well, Dan. You're pretty cute" She said and before she could get any closer I mumbled a "Thanks" and rushed past her.

You would think that because I was one of the 'popular' kids, I would have a lot of experience with girls and stuff, but believe it or not I've never even actually _kissed_ one before.. And she looked like she was trying to do a little more than just kissing to me, which made me freak out a little.

I didn't want my first time to be with someone I hardly even knew, let alone in a house full of drunk teenagers..

Now that I think of it I've never really had a crush on a girl before. I tell myself that it's because I'm not ready for a relationship with a girl yet, but deep down I've been thinking about weather it's just the fact that I just don't want a relationship with a _girl_ full stop... Not that I'd admit that to anyone.

I went back downstairs and found my coat before deciding that I should probably go home now and sleep so that I wasn't too late for school.

Just as I walked out the house I walked past Martyn and his friends for the second time today, "Yeah the look on his face when you bashed his jaw in!" One of them exclaimed, causing the others to laugh in agreement.

 _Well It looks like whatever they were mad about earlier has been sorted._ I thought to myself.

I just feel sorry for whoever it was that they were pissed of with, from what I've seen and heard, Martyn Lester can be a pretty violent dude.

He's cool though, unlike his brother. So whatever.. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHH MYYY GAWWD PHILLYYYY MY BEAN. Sorry. But yeah, new chapter might be up tonight again because I have nothing else to do so look forward to that! Also leave feedback! Comments are what keep me going! <333


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God half way through writing this I accidentally posted it and I almost shit myself! Luckily I could just copy it, delete it and then paste it. God I was so scared that I'd ruined the whole thing xD

**Dan's POV**

I woke up to the sound of my alarm blaring through my ears. I smacked the off button before rolling over and groaning into my pillow. Turns out drinking so much on a school night wasn't a good idea, because I have a bit of a hangover now.. I pulled myself out of bed and dragged my feet along the floor as I walked out of my room and into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I brushed them thoroughly for a few minutes before spitting in the sink and checking my self in the mirror. If you looked closely you could see some faint dark circles under my eyes that made me look like I hadn't slept in years, which annoyed the shit out of me.

The last thing I need right now is to be looking like a fucking troll.

When I was back in my room I reluctantly got my school uniform out and shoved it on. I did the tie up shorter than usual, but I couldn't be bothered to change it because I was too tired and I shoved my shoes on before walking downstairs and into the kitchen. "Hey sweetie, do you want some pancakes?" My mum asked me and I smiled, "What do you think?" I asked and she nodded knowingly at me.

I sat down at the table and she plopped two pancakes down on a plate on front of me. I smothered them in syrup before practically shoving them down my throat.

"Thanks mum. See you later!" I said as I got up from the table and began to leave for school.

"Oh Danny?" She asked. I cringed at the nickname.

"Yeah?" I replied and she smiled.

"Me and dad are actually going to visit grandmother tonight and we won't be back until really late tomorrow. I would have told you sooner but it was a last minute decision." She said and I smiled mischievously.

"Okay that's fine." I replied and she blew me a kiss.

They're going to visit grandma hey? That leaves me with only one choice, _Fricking house party at mine tonight!_ I thought as I set off to school in a slightly better mood than I was in originally.

I was exited to tell everyone the news! I practically ran to school causing me to get there earlier than usual. I went behind the shed outside knowing that my friends would be there and I broke the news to them. They were all pretty hyped.

James said he'd supply the alcohol and Chris said he would invite everyone. Tonight is going to be sick!

I was so excited throughout the day, that I seemed to forget what lesson was waiting for me at the end of the day. Then last lesson came, and when I checked my timetable to see I had science, pretty much all of the anger that was originally inside me this morning had returned, because I knew that Mrs. Beale was going to force me to sit next to and speak to Phil fricking Lester again.

Surprisingly, I got to class on time for once so I made my way to the back where my seat was without being screamed at by the teacher.

It was five minutes into the lesson when Phil decided to turn up.

He walked in and instantly started apologising to Mrs. Beale. "Sorry I'm late miss, I accidentally left my science book in my locker and I had to go back and get it" He said, only earning a disappointed look from from her.

"Whatever, just go to your seat now!" She said coldly.

He hesitated for a moment before walking towards the seat next to me and sitting in it.

"Right then class. As I was saying, you a free to take this whole lesson starting your project. I assume you would have talked to your partner about what you want to do by now so you can go ahead and start it! There is some paper and stuff at the front" She said before turning and sitting at her desk as she typed away on her computer.

I sighed before looking over at Phil to find him already looking at me. We made eye contact for half a second but he soon averted his eyes away from mine.

I've never really got a good look at his eyes to be honest. They're like a mix between blue, green and yellow. They're quite unique (And kinda pretty) to be honest..

"Um.. I was thinking maybe we c-could do something to d-do with like, The Elements of the periodic table... A-and the difference between Elements and C-c-compounds..?" He stuttered nervously.

I didn't notice it earlier, but now that I was closer to him, I spotted a massive bruise on the bottom of his jaw.. And then I had a slight flash back to last night when I head Martyn and his friends talking about how they smashed some ones jaw in.

I mean, I knew Martyn had slight anger issues, and I knew he could be violent, but towards his own _brother?_ Well... Whatever floats his boat, I guess...

When I didn't reply to him he looked back at my face to find me staring at his bruise. I flicked my eyes up towards his and glared at him angrily when I realised he was looking at me, he froze for a second before panicking and then looking away.

"Whatever, I don't care" I stated flatly, not really showing any interest in the project. Mostly because I _wasn't_ interested, and also because I didn't want to talk to Phil any longer than I actually  _had_ to.

He seemed to realise that I wasn't going to be making any effort to help with this project so he went and got some A3 paper before writing some bullshit about the periodic table..

Class was dragging so much but eventually I heard the bell ring so I happily picked my bag up and started walking home. I couldn't wait for tonight, It was going to be _good_.

**Phil's POV**

When I got home, I had expected to just be left alone in my room all day.. I was wrong. Martyn barged into my room at about 8 pm and glared at me. "What?" I asked, hoping that he wasn't here to beat me up again. "I'm gong to a party tonight at Dan Howell's house and you're coming with me." He stated as if it was no big deal.

"What? I don't want to go to a party! Why do I have to come?" I blurted out at once in shock.

"Mum and dad are forcing me to take you. They say you need to get out of the house. Just be ready in 20 minutes." He said but just as he was about to leave he stopped, "Oh, and don't think that I'm going to be hanging around with some fag like you. If you even talk to me or tell anyone you know me, I'll kick your face in!" He said coldly before slamming the door loudly.

I shoved my face in my hands as I tried to refrain from crying. I didn't want to go to a party! let alone Dan Howell's party, It is just another excuse for people to beat me up! Not that they need an excuse. I sighed and looked in the mirror. I was still wearing my school uniform, which I assume isn't suitable for a party.. I got up from my bed and walked over to my wardrobe before pulling out a pair of black skinny jeans and a black sweater with a triceratops on it. The black represented how I felt right now.. _Like shit._

When I had fully changed I put on a pair of black converse and sat on my bed as I waited for my brother to come get me.

It didn't take long before he barged back into my room and told me it was time to go. We had walked there considering our lift bailed on us last minute, and it didn't surprise me when he walked almost 5 meters in front of me so he didn't get caught walking with someone like me. 

The walk was short and quick though, not that I _wanted_ it to be.

We arrived at Dan's house in less than 5 minutes. We got to the door but before we walked in Martyn stopped and looked at me. "Remember, If you come anywhere near me, I'll fucking bash your head in. Understand?" He said as he glared at me. I nodded quickly and before I knew it I was being shoved into a crowd of drunk teenagers in what I supposed was Dan's living room.

Yeah, I don't like this one bit.

I decided that the living room was the most crowded place in the house, so the first thing I did was got myself the hell out of there before I had a panic attack or something.

I made my way into a different, less crowded room that looked like the kitchen and started pushing my way past people in an attempt to find an empty spot to stand in, but _instead_ I ended up walking straight into the body of _Chris Kendall._

He was laughing and talking with a few of his friends before he turned around and spotted me standing there. All of a sudden an evil grin spread across his face. "Hey guys, look who decided to show up?" He said and his friends turned to see what he was on about. When they spotted me the same smirk appeared on their own faces causing me to feel a sinking feeling in my gut as if something bad was about to happen.. I was right.

They all leapt for me at the same time and before I knew it, I was being dragged up the stairs into some one's room.

Just when I thought they were putting me down they shoved me into a closet and locked the doors so I was trapped.

"Have fun being found, fag" One of them, I assumed Chris, shouted through the crack before I heard their footsteps getting further away.

All of a sudden the door to the room was slammed shut, and God knows who was going to let me out now... I'll probably be locked in here _forever_.

I figured that I had been locked in Dan's room, considering as far as I know he is an only child. And that only made me want to cry more.

I held myself together for about five minutes, and that was five minutes too long because I started shaking like mad and before I knew it, I was having one of the worst panic attacks of my entire life.

I cried into my hands for what felt like forever, and then I heard it.. The door to the room was opened again.

The gap between the two closet doors was big enough for me to look through and see what was happening and who had entered the room.

I managed to stop crying as I tried to see who it was. After a few seconds of looking, I noticed that It was in fact Dan, and he was with some girl that I recognised from school called Rebecca. She is one of the popular kids, and that gave me a _small_ idea of what her and Dan were about to do...

"Sit down then" She said as she played with her hair.

Dan didn't say anything in reply, he just sat down on the end of his bed and she sat next to him.

"We never got to finish off our conversation last night because you ran off!" she said as a fake pout was spread across her face. For once in my life, I actually saw Dan looking... _Nervous?_ No way..

Rebecca placed a hand on Dan's leg and started moving her hand closer and closer to Dan's crotch. He didn't look very comfortable at all. In fact, he pushed her hand off of his leg and attempted to stand up.

I say attempted, because when he went to stand up she pulled him back down and swung over on top of his lap placing one leg at each side of his body.

"Um, R-Rebecca?" Dan stuttered out in a panicky tone.

"Yeah baby?" She replied as she pushed Dan backwards so he was lying on the bed and she was lying on top of him.

"Um.. Uh, c-can we like.. I don't know, d-do this another time?" He asked as he struggled slightly beneath her.

"Why? Now is the _perfect_ time" She said seductively as her hands began to glide under his pants.

I stared wide eyed, what ever the hell was _happening_ right now? Dan sure as hell didn't look like he had a say in it...

I couldn't let her do anything else to him, so I decided that the best thing to do, was to bang as loudly as I could against the closet doors...

Rebecca jumped off of him instantly and almost fell off the bed from how frightened she got.

Dan looked confused, he slowly got off the bed, looking somehow relieved that he was free from her, and he came over to the closet with a key before he unlocked it.

I jumped out of the confined space as fast as I could so that Dan didn't have a chance to close it on me again.

"what th- what are _you_ doing here?" He asked in an angry and confused, yet _slightly_ relieved tone.

"Uh.. Um, I-I was forced to c-come with my brother" I said quickly as I began fiddling with my hands. It was something that I did when I was nervous, despite how irritating it is.

"Ugh, whatever, we _get_ it, can you leave now? Me and Dan are kinda busy!" Rebecca stated coldly.

I looked at Dan again to find that his eyes had widened slightly and he looked like he was panicking a bit, so I once again, did what I thought was best to do.

"Um, a-actually I think uh... There was someone downstairs? T-They wanted to speak to Dan" I said nervously as I carried on fiddling with my hands.

"Well they can wait can't they?" She said impatiently.

Dan turned around to face her, "uh actually I think it might be quite important.." Dan said as he tried his best to get out of whatever situation he was in right now.

Rebecca rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "Whatever" She said flatly as she gave me her best death glare.

"Okay.. Well, see you another time then" Dan said awkwardly before practically running out the room.

I followed after him not wanting to be locked back in the closet by Rebecca or something, and when we were outside Dan stopped and turned to face me, "So, who was it that wanted me?" He said coldly as if I hadn't just helped him out of that situation.

"Uhm.. N-No one..?" I replied shyly.

Dan raised his eyebrows, "No one? You're telling me you pulled me out of that room for nothing?" he said, his voice filled with annoyance.

"Um-" He cut me off. "Who the hell do you think you are? Just get out my house now!" He shouted before turning around and storming down the stairs without another word.

Yeah no problem Dan.. _Whatever_. Although maybe a 'thank you' would've been nice considering I just saved you from getting seduced by that girl that you clearly didn't like or want to have _anything_ to do with.

But whatever, I guess he's right, Who the hell do I think I am? Oh wait, I'm 'loser Lester.' That's right. How could I forget?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter hopefully up tomorrow. There is school tomorrow though so I don't know what time xD  
> Any way hope you liked, leave comments and kudos and yeah. See you soon <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry today's chapter literally took the whole day to write. (Please don't hate me) But I literally have school all day so I only have after school to write. Plus I'm ill. Btw I have my guitar lesson after school tomorrow so Don't be expecting the chapter up right away. It should still be up tomorrow though so yh. Love you all <3

**Dan's POV**

When everyone left my house last night I managed to clean up all of the mess before I went to bed, so when my parents come home they wont know what happened here.

I would have thought that maybe Chris or someone like Felix would stay behind and help me clean up, considering I always do that for them whenever they have a party. Instead, they left me to clean it up on my own. I was rather annoyed about that because they were supposed to be my _friends_ , but whatever.

I changed into my school uniform as I tried to ignore the growing migraine in my head because of my hangover. By the time I had changed and straightened my hair it was too late for any breakfast so I reluctantly left for school without any.

As I was walking to school I heard someone calling my name, I turned around to see that It was Chris I rolled my eyes slightly as I was still quite pissed that he didn't help me clean up.

"Hey dude what's up!?" I asked enthusiastically, not wanting to start an argument.

He caught up with me and we walked together, "Not much, last night was sick though bro! I'm going to have the house to myself soon so we should definitely do it again then." He replied.

Yeah, and because I'm a good friend I will actually stay behind after and _help_ you clean the house! I thought to myself as we made our way to school.

When we reached the school the bell had already rang. I had music now, and Chris had something else, so we said our goodbyes and I started walking toward the music block.

The class was already in their seats when I walked in and for some reason, they weren't in their normal seats.

"Ah, Mr. Howell, It's nice for you to finally join us!" Mr. Jackson, the music teacher, said sarcastically. 

"If you had turned up on time you might have got a choice as to where your new seat would be, but as you were late, I'm going to be choosing for you!" He said smugly and I rolled my eyes. That was completely unfair.

He looked around the classroom as he thought about where to put me, and finally his eyes lit up and he smiled proudly to himself.

"How about you sit next to Philip over here?" He asked as If I had a choice.

I stared at him with my most deadly stare. I already have to put up with him in Science, and now you expect me to sit next to him in Music too? For Gods sake. Music Is one of the very few subjects that I _actually_ don't mind.

"Go on then" He said when I made no effort to move. He knew that I wouldn't want to sit next to Phil, and that's the only reason why he chose him.

 _What a dickhead,_ I thought to myself.

I sighed and since I didn't _really_ have a choice, I stormed over to the table that Phil was sat on, which other than Phil, was completely empty. I sat down on the seat next to him and sighed, how much more torture do the teachers want to put me through?

"Okay then class. Now that we're all here.." He paused and glared at me, "I've left you and your partners a sheet with the notes and chords to the song 'my heart will go on' on your table, and it's quite simple, so you can all go to one of the keyboards around the room with your partner and practice it. It shouldn't be hard!" Mr. Jackson exclaimed and everyone got up with their partners and went to a keyboard.

That's when I realised my new partner was in fact, Phil.

**Phil's POV**

Dan looked so mad when he found out he had to sit next to me in music as well as science, I don't blame him really. If I were him I wouldn't want to sit next to someone like me either. He walked over to a keyboard with our sheet and I reluctantly followed him. I hesitantly sat down on the seat next to him, not knowing if he was going to pound my face in if I did, and luckily he just ignored me.

As well as Dan, I shoved on the massive headphones that were attached to the keyboard and began to study the sheet. I don't really have much experience with playing the piano or keyboard, but I knew enough to work out what notes I was meant to be playing.

As I was still checking out the sheet and working things out in my thick head, Dan looked down to the keys and put his hands in position. He began play the chords _and_ the melody to 'my heart will go on' by Celine Dion fluently, as if he'd played it one hundred times before already.

I accidentally found myself staring at him in amazement. _I never knew Dan could play the piano..._

He hardly made _any_ mistakes throughout the whole song, and before I knew it he was done.

He smiled to himself at his achievement which made me smile slightly to myself. It was nice seeing Dan smile for once, It was kinda pretty, and I've never really seen him do it before.  

Of course, just at the moment when I was staring at Dan's face and smiling, he looked at me. My smile dropped immediately and I looked away as fast as I possibly could. He probably thinks I'm even _more_ of a weirdo now for staring at him... Great.

Thankfully he didn't say anything and he just ignored me, so I decided to give the song a go myself. I started playing it, a little shakily If I'm honest, and It didn't sound nearly as good as when Dan was playing it. In fact it sounded a little off, as If I was playing it wrong somehow.

I stopped and sighed before trying again. It only made it more difficult knowing that Dan was also wearing headphones so he could hear everything I did, because it made me feel like I was under pressure.

As I played it again, most of it sounded right, but I was going wrong somewhere and now I was just getting frustrated because I _thought_ I was doing it right.

I played it repeatedly, each time getting more and more frustrated before hearing a small cough coming from Dan making me jump. As I jumped my headphones slid halfway down my face but stayed place on my nose which I was sure made me look like an absolute twat.

Apparently I was right, because as I frustratedly placed my headphones back in place on my head I saw Dan giggle slightly to himself.. Yes, _giggle_.

He saw me looking at him and he stopped immediately before _regaining his cool._

"You're doing it wrong" He stated as if he wasn't just giggling to himself like a ten year old girl.

"Yeah, I know" I said, managing to not stutter which I was proud of myself for.

"Yeah, you were playing the melody right but not the actual chords." He said and shrugged.

I looked down at the keyboard and back up to Dan with a confused expression on my face.. "What?" I asked in a stupidly high pitch tone which I mentally slapped myself for.

As far as I knew, I was playing the chords right... He rolled his eyes, in a less angry way than usual though, more of a  _Oh my God, this guy,_ Kind of way.

 _"This_ is how you play the chords" He said before demonstrating on his side of the keyboard. I looked at the way he played the first chord and then attempted to do it myself. Of course, It still sounded off though.

"No no no, not like that" He said before demonstrating again, "Like _this"_ he added as he played the chord correctly.

I altered the position of my hand slightly before trying to play it again.

Once again, because of the idiot I am, I managed to play it wrong for the third time. Dan face palmed his head before sighing and grabbing my hand, I flinched at his touch and attempted to pull my hand away before realising he wasn't actually going to _do_ anything to me.

My heart rate sped up slightly for some reason as he delicately put my hand in the right position. He pushed down on my hand so that I could hear the chord being played and to my surprise, it sounded _fine_.

My face lit up immediately and a smile was spread across my face. Even though Dan basically did it all, I was still proud of myself so I continued to smile. I was probably wrong, but I could've _sworn_ I saw the smallest smile ever appear on Dan's face too...

Then I remembered a question that I had been meaning to ask Dan.

"Um.. So, we should p-probably work on our project soon. So like, w-when and where should we next do it..?" I asked, back to my stupid stuttery self.

Dan shrugged his shoulders, "Um... I guess I'm free tonight. Just don't be in the shower again this time, or I'll probably leave." Dan replied, seeming to be back to his nonchalant self.

I blushed slightly at the memory. And then I _also_ remembered how this morning my dad made it clear to me that no one was to be coming round our house any time soon because he is 'sick of having to put up with it.' Even though it's mainly Martyn that has people round, as I _have_ no one to invite round...

"Oh, uh my d-dad said I can't have anyone round s-so It will have to be s-somewhere else" I said nervously. I wasn't sure how Dan would react to this. He paused, as if thinking about what to say for a moment, before finally deciding to give me an answer.

"My parents aren't home until late tonight, so I guess we could just do It at mine. I mean like, _whatever"_ and I was quite taken aback by this.

The other day Dan had made it very clear that he didn't want me in his house.. And also, I wasn't too sure as too how I felt about being in a house _alone_ with Dan.

"Um.. O-okay sure" I agreed, still unsure as to what I should expect.

"Okay, well I'll text you the address later" He said, not looking at me directly.

Well, I guess that's _that_. I'm going to _Dan's_ house later after school... And to be quite honest, I am a little terrified...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Done! Keep the comments coming btw I love your feedback, It makes me smile (:  
> New chapter should be tomorrow <3
> 
> P.s If you see any mistakes like spellings and shit then tell me! I type really fast so yh. <3333


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, sorry I didn't upload for a few days.. I mean, first I was ill, then there was a massive power cut and then I was just distracted from high school drama OH, and it was my birthday yesterday so yay? BUT Oh well xD  
> ANYWAY enough of my life story here's another chapter.. enjoy <3

**Dan's POV**

As usual, the first thing I did when I got home was get changed into some normal clothes, rather than this shitty school uniform.

I decided on some Black skinny jeans and my Attack On Titan sweater. I _love_ that sweater, it's actually one of my favourites because It's so soft and comfy... Plus, Attack On Titan is a _really_ good anime. _In my opinion, anyway._

I flopped down on my bed and sighed.

It was at that moment that I remembered I was supposed to text Phil now to tell him my address so he can come round and work on the science project.

When I thought of Phil, I remembered his smile in music when he managed to play the chord right on the keyboard. I thought about how I hardly ever see him smile, so it was strange to see it today.

I Pulled my phone out of my pocket and brought up Phil's contact before typing a text that told him my address.

A few minutes later, he replied with an _'Okay, I'll be there in 20 minutes or something.'_  I didn't bother replying to that, there wasn't really a need too. Instead I shoved my phone on my bedside table and looked over to the many posters on my wall.

That's when it hit me.. _My posters were still on my wall..._ And my gaming consoles and all of my _weird_ cuddly toys and things were still lying about; which usually, when people came round my house, I take down and hide in a different room or something.

That's why when I had that party last night, my room looked so empty and _boring_.

The only reason why I do this, is because I always remember this one time when I had Chris around and he started making fun of all of the anime and stuff that I had, he said it was "Stuff for weirdos or little kids" and ever since then I have been scared of other people seeing it, because I don't want people to think I'm some _weirdo_.

I hesitated for a moment and thought about quickly taking everything out of my room before Phil got here, but then I heard a knock at the door, and unless I wanted to make Phil stand outside for 15 minutes whilst I sort my room out, then that option is kind of out the window.

I shot up from my bed and ran to the mirror that was in my room to check my hair. I'm not really sure why, because It is just _Phil_ I'm about to see, but I did it anyway.

Once my hair was sorted I ran down the stairs and stopped at the front door before opening it and revealing a shy looking Phil. He was wearing a grey sweater with an owl on it and some black skinny jeans.

"Um.. H-hi" He said in a small voice.

"Hey" I said as I stepped aside and indicated for him to come inside. He did, and then he followed me as I walked towards the stairs. "My room's up here" I said and I began walking upstairs towards my bedroom.

When I got outside my door I paused for a moment as I thought about just not going into my room, but I realised it was a bit late now as I was already standing outside it. Even though I was still a bit scared of Phil seeing my room, I opened the door and walked over to my bed to sit on it.

Phil closed the door and when he turned around and caught his first  _proper_ glimpse of my room he stopped and let his eyes dart around the room as he examined it. When he finished checking it out, he stood there awkwardly and looked at me. He didn't mention anything about my room, which I was slightly grateful for.

"You know, you can sit down if you want" I said as I raised an eyebrow at him.

He looked a little surprised when I said this, but he nodded any way. After looking up and seeing that there weren't any chairs in here, he realised that I meant he can sit on my bed if he wants.

He slowly walked over to my bed and sat down on it next to me. I flipped my body onto the bed and crossed my legs as I faced him.

"Um.. I-I brought the work that I-  _We_ , started in class" he said as he pulled it out of his bag and placed it on the bed. I looked at it to see that he had also done some more work on it in his spare time, which I'm sure he has a lot of.

"Right.." I said, once again, not really interested in the project. "I'm getting food" I stated randomly as I got up from the bed and started walking towards my door, "You coming?" I asked as I carried on walking, and the sound of shuffling behind me told me that he was.

I went downstairs into the kitchen and looked in the fridge to find that there was basically nothing in there. I sighed in annoyance and went over to the cupboards instead. I opened them up to find that the only things we had left in there was a pot of Marmite and a single bread stick. I sighed even more for the second time before spinning around to Phil making him jump slightly.

"You like pizza, right?" I asked and he nodded. "Good, because I'm ordering pizza" I said as I grabbed the house phone off the side and started to dial a number.

The Pizza place picked up almost immediately and asked me what I wanted. "Oh, hi can I get a large pepperoni pizza please?" I asked down the phone, "Oh wait, you like pepperoni yeah?" I asked Phil whilst holding the phone away from my face.

He nodded again and I proceeded back to my call. As well as the pizza I also got us some drinks and the brownie dessert option. They told me they would be here in 20 minutes and I thanked them before hanging up.

"Right well that's that sorted" I said to myself as I walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa.

Phil followed me into the living room and also sat down on the sofa. I grabbed my iPad off the coffee table and turned it on to avoid any conversation with Phil. 25 Minutes later the doorbell rang and I shot up off the sofa thankfully.

I began to walk out the room but somehow, I _stupidly_ managed to step on my left foot with my right, causing me to fall over and hit my head on the table.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed as I rubbed my head.

"A-Are you okay?" Phil asked shyly and I rolled my eyes. "Does it look like I'm okay? Just get the door will you" I said, still rubbing my head.

Phil got up from the sofa without another word and began to speed walk when the doorbell rang again.

I managed to get myself up before Phil came back into the room with the pizza in his hands. I indicated for him to follow me upstairs and so he did. When we got back into my room I sat down cross legged on my bed and he copied before putting the pizza in between us and passing me my drink. He placed his drink on the floor and as he did so his sweater began to ride up a bit causing me to catch a glimpse of his underwear...

His underwear which _just_ so happen to look _exactly_ the same as the sonic underwear I am wearing right now...

I suddenly started to feel slightly embarrassed and I definitely didn't want Phil to see that I was wearing the exact same underwear as him.. So I shuffled my ass a bit as I pulled my sweater down and made sure that there was nothing of them to be seen.

Phil finally sat back up properly on the bed but he gave me an uncomfortable look as he did so. At first I didn't know why, but then I realised it was because I was in fact, still staring at his underwear. My eyes widened and I soon averted my gaze away from him and down to the pizza. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter and I mentally slapped myself for being such an idiot. I wouldn't want Phil to think that I was staring at his _ass!_

Thankfully he chose not to make a comment about my blushing or anything, and instead he let me eat some pizza in peace. That's when I remembered that I never even _paid_ for this pizza... What the fuck? How did Phil get away with not paying for this?

"Wait a second.. I never even paid for this?" I said in a questioning tone. Instead of looking me in the eyes he stared at his hands and he fiddled with them nervously. I rolled my eyes.

"For Gods sake! Stop _doing_ that with your hands! What are you, Eight?" I asked and scowled. He flinched at my harsh tone but stopped messing with his hands. "I-I paid for the pizza" He said shakily, and I raised my eyebrows.

"You what?" I asked sceptically. He actually paid for it? Knowing this, I almost felt kind of bad for shouting at him just then, but then he shrugged his shoulders as if he was too scared to say anything and I instantly forgot that he used his _own_ money to pay for  _my_ food.

"Oh my fucking God! Do you not know how to speak or something?" I half shouted at him. I'm so sick of him, remind me why he's even at my house again?

"S-sorry..." He said quietly, "I-I have to go now anyway" He stated, almost as fast as he possible could, before grabbing his bag and practically running out the house.

I was kind of shocked to be honest, I mean you would at least think he'd stay and eat some pizza right? As specially considering he _paid_  for it.. Like, he literally paid for it for some reason when he could've got the money from me...

I mean he didn't even eat any, he just ran out of the house as fast as he could. It's not like I felt bad or anything right now... Why on earth would I feel bad for Phil Lester? No.. I  _definitely_ don't feel bad. The weird twisty feeling in my stomach must just be something else. Because I sure as hell don't care about _Phil_...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of sucked, I know but you guys deserved at least SOMETHING after my absence. Leave comments and Kudos if you want like whatever..
> 
> P.s Okay so I leave for a few days and come back to find I have over 900 reads!!!???? You guys have no chill I s2g xD Anyway hope you liked this chapter.. dunno when the next update will be but hopefully soon and yeah, bye for now. <3333


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\TRIGGER WARNING!!!\\\ If you think you'll get triggered by some of the tags of this fic then don't read this chapter.
> 
> I know I'm a shit person. The other day I said the chapter would be up that night and I never posted it and the reason for that is, because I'm stupid, I deleted the WHOLE fricking chapter and as you can see, this is pretty long compared to my others.
> 
> P.s There's a good reason why I haven't posted in a while (other than the fast that I deleted this chapter and had to rewrite it) but that doesn't matter, all that matters is that this chapter is finally up so I really do hope you like it :)

**Phil's POV**

On my way home from Dan's house I couldn't stop thinking about how different his room was compared to when I saw it at his party. It was actually kind of cool, nothing like I would've expected it to be like. There were cool band and anime posters plastered over his walls and I noticed how he had _all_ of my favourite games.

To be honest, its nothing like you'd expect it to be like. I had absolutely no idea that Dan was into that kind of stuff... I thought stuff like that wasn't cool and that him and his friends thought it was "gay" or "for fags."

At first, I was slightly confused as to why his friends didn't totally make fun of him for liking that kind of stuff, but then I remembered about how at his party his room looked completely different. That's when it hit me that maybe Dan's friends didn't know that he was into that kind of stuff, maybe he pretended to hate it so that  _he_ wouldn't get made fun of like I do. I just don't understand why he makes fun of me for stuff like that when he blatantly likes it as much as I do.

I sighed and decided to just forget about it for now. I walked into my house and when straight up to my room ready for bed ignoring my parents and the food that was on the table for me. I had already eaten half a slice of pizza, and I'm fat enough already so whatever.

I flopped down onto my bed and sighed. I couldn't get out of my head how similar Dan seemed to be to me. I mean, he has posters of _every_ band that I love, he has a pile of _every_ game that I love and I even noticed that he was wearing an _attack on titan_ sweater..

I mentally slapped myself, actually forget that, I physically slapped myself for thinking this.

Dan is nothing like me, I am nothing like Dan. Dan is cool, popular and attractive and then there's me, the exact opposite. I can't even get my own _family_ to love me.

I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the tears as I attempted to go to sleep. I couldn't stand it though, I always somehow manage to think the worst things that make me want to punch myself.

I opened my eyes and a tear slipped out onto my jeans before I ripped my phone case off of my phone and revealed a small blade that I had put there just in case I got sad again.

Before really thinking about it I slashed the blade across my arm multiple times and I relished in the pain, it was what was making me feel better after all. A few minutes later I thought I had done enough damage.

I decided not to count how many cuts I left this time, all I know is that now I have more than 10 and it makes me kind of sad knowing that I have to do this to myself to feel better, but then I remember that I'm just 'worthless faggot scum' and no one cares anyway. No one cares about me... I don't even care about me any more.

**xxxXxXxxx**

My alarm started blasting out sound throughout my room making me jump and almost fall out of bed. I rubbed my eyes and sighed.

I'm dreading school today, well okay, I dread school every day, but yeah...

When I pulled myself out of bed and turned my alarm off I reluctantly shoved my school uniform on, grabbed my bag and went downstairs.

Just as I was about to leave the house my parents called for me. "Philip! Get here now!" My mother shouted from the kitchen and I froze. My parents hardly ever speak to me directly unless they want to shout at me for something.

"Phil!" My dad called when I didn't reply.

"Oh.. Uh, coming!" I said before walking into the kitchen to find my dad sat at the table reading a newspaper and my mum standing by the kettle with her arms crossed.

"What do you want?" I asked and my dad raised an eyebrow at me.

"What do we want? What do we  _want!?"_ My dad practically screamed at me.

"Well for starters we  _want_ You to stop talking to us like that!" He said angrily as he slammed his newspaper on the table. My dad has some slight anger issues, usually he is fine, but sometimes, _like now,_ he will get worked up and It's actually quite scary how mad he gets...

Not scary as if he's going to kill me. I mean, sometimes he starts to drink and he will hit me occasionally, but I've gotten used to that. That's just when he gets  _really_ angry anyway, and I probably deserve it so I try not to worry about it that much...

"Me and your father are going out all week for a little holiday so you and Martyn will be here alone as there's no one here to look after you both." My mum said nonchalantly as if it wouldn't even affect me.

I stared at her blankly. "W-What?" I asked dumbfounded. She rolled her eyes, "You heard me. I assume you don't have any plans this week, am I right?" She said flatly and I looked down at my feet in embarrassment.

"Well, I mean... No." I said kind of ashamed of myself for being such a loser.

"I thought so. So that means you can be in charge of the house. If I come back to find it in a complete mess you will be in _lot_ _s_ of trouble you hear me!?" And I sighed, even though it is completely unfair as Martyn is the older brother, there is no point in arguing with my parents once they've made up their minds.

Martyn will always be favoured over me and that's why they've left everything up to me. That's why I never bother to argue; I'll only get shouted at, or if I piss my dad off enough, he may even _hit_ me again.

I mumbled an okay and left as fast as possible in fear of being yelled at again.

On that first night that Dan was at my house and he started to leave there is a reason why I called after him. That reason was because I _knew_ my dad had been drinking, I was kind of terrified of what he might do as well considering he seemed pretty angry at me when he barged into my room before he knew Dan was there.

Despite the fact that Dan Howell bullies me himself and he hates my guts, I knew that if he was there my dad wouldn't do anything. Luckily, even though Dan left, my dad seemed to have calmed down so I didn't have to put up with him that much which I was grateful for. But I will always fear him no matter what.

When I got to school I got my timetable out of my pocket to find out that I had Science first. I think Id rather die than have to spend more time with someone that absolutely hates my guts if I'm honest. I decided that actually, I quite needed the toilet right now, so I figured I'd go to the science block toilets before I went to lesson.

**Dan's POV**

I leant against the wall of the science block toilets and watched as Chris got his pack of cigarettes out and passed one to Felix, Mark, and Martyn. I don't really know why Phil's brother Martyn and his friend Mark was here but I don't really care either, they are all right, I guess...

"Hey Dan want one?" Chris said as he held a cigarette out towards me, I paused for a second to think about it, I've never smoked before and I never really planned on doing so if I'm honest with you.. But if I don't take one then they might look at me weird.

I hesitated before taking a deep breath and accepting the cancer stick from his hand. "Uh, yeah thanks." I said not really sure that I wanted to to this. What would my mum think if she found out I smoked? Oh well, I guess my reputation means more right this second...

He passed the lighter to Felix and then Felix passed it around the room before finally, It was in my hands. _Well, here goes nothing,_  I thought as I struggled to spark a flame.

After my own cigarette was lit I gave Chris his lighter back and stared at everyone. They all seemed to know what they were doing, unlike me.

I watched as Martyn inhaled deeply as if he'd done this a million times and I attempted to copy him. I figured that the way to smoke it correctly would be to just breath in when the cigarette is in my mouth? So that is exactly what I did.

The smoke filled my lungs and I'm pretty sure I almost died, because Jesus on a fricking _bike_ that's strong.

I began coughing so much in disgust that my eyes even began tearing up. "You all right there Dan?" Felix said, smirk present on his face. "You've done this before, right?" Chris asked sceptically and I just wanted to die right now.

"Yeah, all the time, I just needed to cough that's all. Who do you think I am?" I asked Chris and squinted my eyes in an attempt to look scary.

"Okay okay If you say so. I was just wondering, Jesus." He replied as he held his hands up in defence.

Just as I was about to embarrass myself even more by taking another puff, the door swung open and everyone jumped before stubbing their cigarettes into the wall to put them out and hiding them in their pockets, I stood there not doing anything to hide my cigarette because I was in shock that I was about to get caught from a teacher walking in.

But no, It was no teacher. Actually, It was just _Phil_.

The scared look instantly disappeared from everyone's faces and instead it was replaced with evil smirks. "Well look at that.. Loser fucking Lester decided to show up!" Chris exclaimed earning a few chuckles.

I was about to comment something as well, but that's when I remembered that Martyn (Phil's brother), is also in here and I paused, kind of expecting him to shout at Chris or something for talking to his brother like that.

What happened instead though, took me completely by surprise. "Oh my fucking God Phil. I thought I said If you even look at me in school, I'll beat the fucking shit out of you?!" Martyn shouted angrily as he grabbed a terrified looking Phil and shoved him into the wall violently.

Martyn let go of his shoulders and Phil slid down the wall onto the floor clearly winded by the amount of force Martyn had used to slam him into the wall. I stood there kind of astonished about the fact that Martyn was actually beating up his _own_ brother...

Then I remembered about that first time I had gone to Phil's house, and how Martyn and his friends had beaten him up...

 _Did he do this often?_ I thought to myself, a strange feeling forming in my stomach.

"Hey, someone help me with this?" Martyn asked as he began to drag Phil towards one of the toilet cubicles.

"Sure thing" Chris replied, and him and Mark instantly ran over to him and helped drag him towards the toilet.

 _"Stop!"_ Phil shouted helplessly as he squirmed beneath Martyn's touch. "Shut up fag" Felix said angrily as he walked closer to Phil, Chris, Martyn and Mark and before I knew it, I was watching Martyn shove Phil's face into the toilet as everyone else held him down.

They kept his head in there for what felt like forever before finally letting him up to breath.

"Talk to me again in school and I'll do a _lot_ worse than shove your little faggot face in the toilet" Martyn said and scowled as he stood up.

I noticed how Phil was shaking intensely and breathing fast as if he was about to have a panic attack or something. Chris gave him one last kick before finally they decided they had done enough.

"Come on then guys, don't wanna be late for lesson just because of this fag" Felix said and they all chuckled in agreement before heading toward the door.

I was so shocked that I was still staring at Phil as he sat there on the floor shaking like mad.

"You coming Dan?" Chris asked snapping me back into reality. "Oh, right, uh- yeah... Good job on beating the shit out of that fag, by the way" I said, not really knowing what _else_ to say.

"Yeah well, I only gave him what he deserves" Chris said proudly as he shrugged and then I followed him out of the toilets, only giving Phil one last small glance to find that he was breathing even quicker than a second ago.

I almost wanted to stay there for some reason, but instead I mentally slapped myself. What's wrong with me? I don't give two _fucks_ about  _Phil._ I never have, and I _never_ _will!_

I sat in class for about 10 minutes as I played on my phone, not really doing anything productive as everyone else chatted with their project partners, when finally, the classroom door was opened revealing a very damp looking Phil. 

"Mr. Lester! Why on earth are you so late to my class!?" Mrs. Beale shouted angrily as she stood there with her arms crossed. Phil's eyes were red-rimmed and I could tell that he had been crying. As specially by the way he was still shaking like _crazy_.

"I-I-I Got c-caught up In s-something else" He replied shakily.

"You got _'c-caught up in s-something else?'"_  She mimicked Phil's stuttering causing a few people to snicker. "What? Something more important than _my_ science lesson?" She asked angrily.

I felt kind of mad for some reason. Like, not as if I was mad for Phil.. I was just genuinely mad at the way she was talking, It wound me up the way she mimicked what he said... Don't ask me why though, because like I said.. I don't give two _fucks_ about Phil. I guess I just think she's a really rude teacher. _That's all_...

"S-sorry" he said as he looked down at his hands.

The teacher rolled her eyes before finally telling him to sit down, so he hesitantly walked over to the seat next to me and sat down.

"Right class, back to working on your assignment please!" Mrs. Beale stated before sitting back at her computer and typing away.

Phil sighed quietly, not quiet enough for me not to hear him though, and pulled the poster out of his bag along with a pencil and a few colouring pens.

"I'm busy all week so If we need to work on that thing It'll have to be today" I said and shrugged my shoulders.

"O-Okay." He stuttered quietly, probably too scared to say anything else.

**xxxXxXxxx**

The next lesson was music with Mr. Jackson, and I almost got excited about it considering I like playing the piano. But then I remembered that once again, I would have to sit next to Phil for an entire lesson. I sighed but made my way to lesson anyway.

"Okay class, assuming the sheets from last lesson are still in your books, I'd like you to carry on with My Heart will go on" Mr. Jackson said and I rolled my eyes because seriously? That was easy as fuck and I finished it straight away! Oh well, at least now I have a whole lesson to just mess about on the keyboard, even if Phil is with me.

I sat down at the closest Keyboard and shoved the ridiculous headphones on so I could hear what I was playing.

I ignored Phil as he followed me and sat down next to me and instead, I tried to think of a song to play. May as well play a song or something considering I have nothing else to do, right?

I thought for a while before remembering Phil's room and how it was plastered with Muse, Fall Out Boy and Mcr posters.. Then I started to think about how they were my favourite bands and there's no way that someone like _Phil_ would like them, would he?

I mean, I always imagined Phil as the type of person to be obsessing over Taylor Swift in secret or something.

I thought for a moment and then I had an idea... Maybe I should play a cool song by one of them bands and see if Phil recognises it? He probably won't, but I've never actually met someone into the same type of stuff as me, and I guess it would be kind of nice to know that I'm not the only one...

I started to think of a song that I knew how to play on piano and the first one that popped into my head happened to be Cancer by My Chemical Romance. I placed my hands correctly on the keys and took a small glance at Phil to find he was just sat there looking awkwardly away from me. I rolled my eyes at how stupid and awkward he was and started playing, looking over at Phil every few seconds to see if he recognised it.

At first he didn't seem to move, but I looked over to him again to find he was staring at me strangely, almost judgementally, and for some reason, I'm not sure why, but I began to feel slightly insecure. What if he actually hated Mcr and thought they were weird? Oh for God's sake, now I look like a fool in front of  _Phil Lester._

Because of my panicking state and stupid thoughts of looking like an idiot, I started to stumble over my chords and ended up bashing the keys randomly. My cheeks started burning up and I basically ripped my hands away from the keyboard in fear of messing up again.

I looked back up to Phil to see he was still looking at me, "what are you looking at!?" I asked angrily, still kind of embarrassed. His eyes widened and he averted them away from me almost instantly.

"Oh, uh s-sorry I just... I thought.. N-nevermind." He stuttered nervously. _This made me curious._

"You thought what?" I asked out of suspicion, maybe he did know the song?

"I-I just, that s-song sounded familiar, t-that's all" He said, almost sounding ashamed of himself. I raised my eyebrows, I was actually quite surprised.. He knew the song? I know that I saw those posters in his room and stuff but I never actually thought they _meant_ anything.

"You know that song?" I asked still kind of sceptical. I kind of really wanted him to know the song, not because I like him or whatever but I just want to know that I'm _not_ the only teenage boy that's into these things.., To my friends these bands are just 'stupid' and 'gay.'

"Oh. Well, p-probably not actually. The song I-I'm thinking of is probably just _l-lame."_ He said still not looking at me. I stared at him as he covered his hands with his blazer sleeves and looked down at his feet as he blushed from embarrassment.

For the first time, when I looked at him I- I smiled? Wha.. _What the fuck Dan!_ Why are you _smiling_ at him? I mentally slapped myself because why _was_ I even smiling? I don't  _like_ Phil!

I tried to push the memory of smiling at Phil aside and decided to just find out if he knew the song or not.

"Well what song did you think it was?" I asked and he finally looked up at me.

"You p-probably don't know it so... So yeah, but I-It's called Cancer? I don't know." He said and looked away from my eyes and to the left of me instead.

Before I could say anything in reply to Phil, I was interrupted by Mr. Jackson. "Okay class well it looks like you guys have to head off to an 'emergency' assembly about school uniform before break, so you can now leave" He announced flatly before turning away. 

I sighed as I looked at him, my uniform is absolutely _fine_ and I don't need an assembly on it! I rolled my eyes before turning back round to face Phil, except I came face to face with an empty chair instead.

I looked around the room to find him shyly slipping out of the class as he looked down at his feet...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYYYYYYY so hope you liked this. Originally this was a long ass chapter but I split it in half. That's actually another reason why this took so long; the next chapter was originally part of this chapter. ANNNYWAY Please leave opinions in the comments and have a lovely day! <3
> 
> Once again, if you see any mistakes, PLEASE let me know so I can sort them out!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, um. I Don't really know what to say today.... I hope you enjoy this chapter I guess? :)

**Phil's POV**

I left the class as quickly as I could trying to avoid any further conversation with Dan.

It was as if he was trying to _force_ me into telling him what song I thought he was playing so he could make some stupid joke about how I'm a loser or something, and I didn't like it _one bit._

In fact, the thought crossed my mind that maybe those posters and things in Dan's room were just there to manipulate me into thinking we are the same so that I would make a fool out of myself in front of him and his friends so they could beat me up some more.

Yeah, that's probably it to be honest. There's no way someone as cool and popular as Dan would be interested in the same things as someone as stupid, worthless and pathetic as me.

I decided I couldn't be bothered with some stupid assembly about 'school uniform' so instead I pushed the door to the boys toilets open and thankfully, there was no one in there this time, so I walked over to the mirror above the sinks.

looking at my reflection I discovered that the bruise Martyn had given me was almost completely faded, I was still ugly as fuck though weather I had a bruise or not, and there's nothing I can do about that unfortunately...

Just as I thought I was getting away with being in here alone, the door swung open and slammed against the wall with a crash as Chris, Dan and some boy I've never seen before walked in.

"Well look who it is _again!_  Loser Lester!" Chris exclaimed with a wide, mischievous grin on his face.

My eyes widened in fear, I've already been beaten up once today, _please_ not again...

The boy I've never seen before had the same look on his face as Chris's. In fact, he looked even  _more_ intimidating, if that is even possible.

"Is this that _Phil_ guy you were telling me about?" The guy asked in a disgusted tone.

"Yeah, he is, and he's a fucking faggot" Chris said angrily.

"Well, hi Phil, I'm Pj... And I just so happen to _hate_ little ugly fags like you!" He said through gritted teeth as he stormed over to me and shoved me into the wall.

Before I knew it they were all throwing punches and kicks at me as if I was a piece of garbage, I guess I am a piece of garbage to be honest. If I wasn't then why would my life be so shitty all the time?

Most of Pj's kicks were aimed at my chest causing me to feel agonising pain in my rib cage, so agonising that I was _sure_ he had broken at least one bone. I started feeling drowsy and suddenly, the pain was becoming less and less _painful_ , and more  _numb..._

I knew that if they went on any longer I was going to pass out. All of a sudden, thankfully, the kicking stopped, but something told me that wasn't everything they had planned for me...

"Who's locker is closest?" Pj asked and I wanted to die right now, because I knew what was coming next.

"Mine!" Dan said quickly, earning strange looks from the other two, "Um, mines just out there.." Dan said as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Okay, well help me then! I don't want to hold him" Pj said as he scowled. "Yeah Dan you can pick him up, I'm not doing it" Chris said and when I looked at Dan he looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Ugh, fine whatever. You guys are so lazy" Dan finally said. He bent down next to me and rolled his eyes before putting one arm behind my back, one arm under my legs and lifting me up off the ground.

My eyes widened in shock at the pain in my chest and I sucked in a strong breath to stop myself from making any noise. It didn't work though, I let out a loud shriek and my arms swung around Dan's neck to try stop the pain as Dan began walking out the door, causing him to freeze on the spot and look down at me with a strange look on his face. It was almost like... _Wo_ _rry_?No, surely not.

"Hurry up Dan before a teacher sees us!" Chris said loudly and Dan looked slightly sceptical at first, but he carried on walking, my arms still around him for comfort.

Everything started getting blurry, and I _knew_ I was about to pass out, but I didn't care. At least then I wouldn't have to deal with this pain.

I heard the clanging of a locker opening and suddenly, I was being shoved into one, Dan's to be specific.

My eyes were fully shut by now and I didn't even care that I was being cramped into the tiniest space ever or that my ribs felt like they were broken into tiny pieces. I was too exhausted by now to care....

**Dan's POV**

I shoved Phil inside the locker expecting a shout of protest or something from him, but instead he was dead quiet. "Looks like he passed out" Chris stated in a nonchalant tone as he slammed the locker door shut.

"Passed out? If he's passed out how will anyone know he's in there?" I asked, feeling slightly sick for some reason.

It's not like I haven't put Phil in a locker before, but usually he's  _conscious_  so that he can bang on the door for help until someone, like the _janitor,_ gets him out (considering no one else would).

But if he is unconscious then how will the janitor know he's in there?

"They wont" Pj replied as he smirked evilly.

Pj is a new student in this school and he just so happens to know Chris _outside_ of school, so that is why he is hanging around with us. I guess I just have to assume Phil will wake up eventually and he wont be stuck in there all day.

It's not like I care anyway, not about Phil.. I'm just worried that if he's left in there all day we could get into serious trouble, and my parents would kill me if I got into trouble again.

"He deserves to not be found anyway, did you see the way he wrapped his arms around you like a freaking fag!? I feel sorry for you" Chris said sincerely with a hint of disgust in his voice, and that's when I remembered the way Phil screeched in pain as his arms flung around my neck.

I was really quite surprised when he did this to be honest. So surprised that I actually froze on my tracks, because Isn't Phil Lester supposed to be  _way_ too awkward and shy to do something as bold as that?

Then It kind of clicked in my _thick_ head that yes, Phil  _is_ way too awkward and shy to do something as bold as that. So, why did he do it? Was he really in that much pain that he felt the need to actually put his arms around  _my_ neck for support?

 _No.. Don't think like that Dan,_  I thought to myself.

Phil is probably fine with just a few bruises, we've never actually gone so far that we leave him in _agonising_ pain, well, I know for a fact I haven't anyway. So surely he'll be fine. Right?

**Phil's POV**

My eyes slipped open gently and I started to feel a sharp pain in my chest as they began to adjust to the dark environment I was in. That's when I remembered what environment I  _was_  in. I was In Dan Howell's locker.

All the memories of being beaten up and shoved into his locker came flooding back to me all at once and I started to panic. "H-Hello?" I called out, but no one replied. "Hello!? is anyone there?" I shouted more desperately. There was still no answer though.

I started banging against the locker door with my foot in panic as I called out for help but In doing so I caused a horrible clanging noise that echoed throughout the locker causing me to get headache. 

The pain in my chest was no better from what it was like earlier, if anything it seemed to have gotten worse. The tears that I was trying so desperately to hold back started streaming down my face, and I just _broke down._

No matter how much I tried, I couldn't get my phone out of my pocket, and it didn't help that my school bag was also cramped in here with me. Before I knew it I was having a panic attack, I didn't know what time it was but I knew that school must be over by now.

I was so caught up in panicking and crying my eyes out that I almost didn't hear the faint sound of footsteps in the hallway. Luckily though, I did, and I instantly started clanging my foot against the door again, I was almost too tired to speak.. No, I  _was_ to tired to speak.

"Hello? Is there someone in here?" Someone asked curiously from outside the locker. I kicked the door again in reply despite the fact that it was making my headache worse, I just wanted to get the hell out of here all ready.

"Hang on" They said and then I heard some ruffling of paper before finally, there was a clicking sound indicating that someone was dialling Dan's locker combination and the door swung open, filling the tiny space with light, making me flinch slightly.

Before I knew it I was being pulled out of the locker by the janitor, "What on earth are you doing in there" He asked as he raised his eyebrows questioningly.

I sighed with relief (tears still running down my face) and pulled my phone out to find that it was 5 pm. "Nothing, really." I said flatly before hobbling away towards the exit.

"You going to be all right?" The janitor asked me and I shrugged.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks for getting me out, anyway" I said quietly as I carried on walking away from him and towards the exit.

I heard him mumble a 'kids these days' as I Shoved my bag on my back and carried on out the door and towards home, stopping every now and then because the pain in my chest was too much...

**xxxXxXxxx**

By the time I got home, it was already 6 pm. It took me a whole hour to get home when usually it takes me about 10-15 minutes. It only took me this long because I had to actually stop and sit down on a bench at some point because my chest was killing me and I literally thought I was going to die it hurt so much.

I'm almost positive that I've broken a bone but it doesn't matter. My parents wont believe me if I tell them and they don't care anyway so I'm just going to have to deal with it weather I like it or not.

When I did get home, I expected the house to be completely quiet and empty, considering my parents are meant to be gone. What I didn't expect, was for there to be tons of people dancing to loud music whilst getting drunk because Martyn threw a party, and that's exactly what _was_ happening.

I opened the door to a huge crowd of teenagers, some who I know from school, and some I have no idea who they are. My first thought was that I have to get away from here in case anyone sees me and decides they want to lock me inside a closet again, so I walked as fast as I could without causing to much pain towards the stairs and went up towards my room.

I was so exhausted by now, all I wanted to do was lie down and rest, but of course that couldn't happen ever, could it? No. Because when I opened my bedroom door and slammed it shut behind me in relief of getting away from the party and finally getting home.. I realised that I wasn't the only one in here.

"Oh, hey Phil.. It is Phil, right? I was wondering when I'd get to see you again!" Rebecca said, as she stood up from my bed and smiled mischievously at me...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave your opinions in the comments if you want, (I love reading your feedback :P) and stay lovely! <3 ^_^


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, took me while to think of how to write this chapter and hopefully I did a good job? Idk, I think I did okay but yeah. Leave you're opinion in the comments on what you think about it and I'm SORRY for that 'cliff-hanger' at the end of the last chapter... Okay I'm not really that sorry. ^_^ Hope you enjoy <3
> 
> P.S. Thank you SO much for over 100 Kudos, it makes me so happy that people _actually_ like my writing. xD

**Phil's POV**

I stared at Rebecca not daring to say a word. If I'm completely honest, I am absolutely done with all of this bullshit. I've been beaten up twice today and my ribs feel like they are falling out of my chest. Is it really so much too ask to be able to just lie down in bed an relax for once?

She slowly walked closer to me and put both of her hands besides each side of my head in an attempt to restrict my movement and keep me backed against the door. "I heard you got beaten up a bit at school today?" She asked slowly in a patronising tone.

I gulped slightly not really knowing what to say. Why is she even here and what is she even planning on doing anyway? Oh God, she isn't going to try and do to me what she tried to do to _Dan_ is she? No, surely not...

"That's just not very fair is it?" She practically whispered as she took her right hand and dragged her fingers along my cheek bone sending shivers down my spine. They weren't shivers of excitement though, they were shivers of _fear_.

I want to leave  _right_ now.I don't even care how tired I am or that I feel like every single one of my bones are broken, I couldn't care less about that right now, I just hope to dear God that someone comes in now.

"Why are you shaking so much Philly? You don't have to be scared of me." She whispered in my ear slowly as her hands glided down my stomach and onto my hips and- wait, was that... Is she undoing my zip..?

**Dan's POV**

I had assumed that Phil was home by now so I had texted him to tell him I was coming over to work on the poster but he didn't reply, so I obviously texted him again.. Still no reply. He... Wasn't still in the locker was he? Just as I was considering calling him my _own_ Phone started ringing.\

I picked It up without even checking the caller ID.

_"Phil?" I asked instantly as I answered the call._

_"What? This is Chris what the- Whatever I won't even bother asking. There's a party going on at Martyn's place, you should come!" Chris said as my cheeks were flooded with Red._

_"Really? Okay I'm on my way" I replied before hanging up, I guess the project can wait..?_

 

I got up from my bed and walked over to my mirror before checking I looked half decent. I was already out of my school uniform and into something more casual so I made sure I had my phone in my pocket and left for Martyns house.

I arrived at Martyn's place pretty fast considering we live quite close together, as I discovered recently. I opened the door and let myself in without knocking before practically being swallowed into a crowd of tons of drunk teenagers grinding against each other to the music.

I struggled for what felt like hours just getting past everyone and into the kitchen where I assumed Chris and everyone else would be. Apparently I squeezed through all of that for nothing though, because when I got into the kitchen there was no one, well there was plenty of people, just not one of my friends.

I figured that surely they'd be in here soon for more drinks so I decided to down a few shots of vodka and wait for them. I waited for about two minutes before I grew very impatient and annoyed.

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes. If they aren't here then they must be either upstairs or outside. I thought about going upstairs... But then I decided I couldn't be bothered to walk through the massive crowd of people, so instead I made my way out the back door into the garden.

Of course when I opened the back door they weren't outside either, meaning that If I want to find them I have to walk through the living room again, which I don't particularly want to do..

"Fuck it" I said under my breath as I stormed into the living room, Instead of being consumed by everyone this time though, I pushed them out of the way ignoring their snide comments and made my way up the stairs.

In the two minutes that I was waiting for them I managed to down quite a few shots of vodka and already, so I was pretty tipsy.

That's why when I went upstairs I didn't really think about what I was doing, and Instead of walking to _Martyn's_ bedroom door, I accidentally stumbled over to _Phil's_...

**Phil's POV**

"Wha- What are y-you doing?" I asked Rebecca shakily as I felt the zip to my school trousers being undone.

"What do you think, silly" She replied before grabbing my arms, pulling me away from the door and pushing be back onto my bed. I let out a moan of pain because of my chest and she smirked as she climbed on top of me and pulled my trousers down to my knees.

My cheeks flushed red instantly, I've never done  _anything_ like this, and I especially don't plan on doing so with... well, her. Or _any_ girl if I'm honest. I wanted so badly to tell her to stop but I was so shocked and terrified that I couldn't form any words at all.

She was wearing an extremely short skater skirt with no tights so when she knelt down with one leg either side of me it rode up making me even more nervous and scared.

Her eyes began to travel down my body and they stopped right at my waist, where she smirked and _grabbed_ my crotch making my whole body stiffen.

I kept on thinking-  _this can't be happening, this can't be happening, oh my God..._

And just as I was about to burst into tears from how shocked I was, my door swung open and Rebecca's head _spun_  around to see who it was, not removing her hands or herself from me.

I almost sighed with relief, that was before I saw _Dan_ standing at the doorway.

I couldn't help it anymore, the tears began running down my face for like, the fifth time today, because _all_ hope of being saved was gone, Dan will most likely just laugh and go tell everyone.

 _Why does this stuff always happen to me? Why does everyone hate me?_ I thought, only causing the tears to fall faster.

 _"Dan!_ me and Phil are busy for God's sake, get lost!" She said angrily and she turned away from Dan and ignored him completely as she started to play and tug on the waistband of my underwear In an attempt to get them off.

Dan's mouth dropped slightly. His eyes flickered away from Rebecca's and he looked at me instead. I quickly snapped my head away from him because I didn't want him to know I was crying, but clearly it was too late.

"I-is he crying?" Dan asked, great.. Just _great_.

I blushed even harder because this will only add to his story when he goes and _tells_ everyone.

"No! Just leave, Jesus Christ" Rebecca said angrily as she started pulling my boxers down ignoring the tears that were streaming down my face.

I expected Dan to just laugh and leave, but what happened instead took me _completely_ by surprise.

"Wha- No! What the fuck are you- what? Get off of him you freak!" He stuttered out as he stormed over to us and pushed her off of me.

She gasped as she fell of the bed before scrambling to her feet, "Oh my God Dan, you're no fun! Why do you even care anyway I thought you'd find it funny!" She exclaimed as she stomped out of my room in a huff, slamming the door behind her.

I was so confused about what was happening and why _Dan_  or all people did that, that I didn't even realise there were still streams of tears falling from my eyes.

Dan stood there staring at the door, seeming pretty shocked himself, as I sat my self up and shoved my face in my hands in an attempt to wipe away my tears without Dan seeing, since I was already embarrassed enough.

After a moment I looked up from my hands and up to Dan to find him staring at the bottom half of my body. I looked down instantly wanting to know what he was looking at and found that my trousers were _still_ down to my knees, my shirt was half way up my body and my boxers were _dangerously_ low on my waist.

My eyes widened and I rushed to sort it out as fast as I could, even though my trousers were half way down my legs the first thing I did before pulling them up was pull my shirt down, I don't need Dan seeing how fat I am...

I looked up again to him to find him looking very embarrassed.

His face was a dark Red colour and he was looking away from me... Was it because he was looking at my- _No,_ he was just staring at how _fat_ you are Phil, don't be ridiculous. There's no way someone as good looking as _Dan_ would look at you like that.

Then the realisation of how I had just called Dan _good looking_ dawned on me, and I just thought  _fuck it._  It's not like It's a secret that he's good looking, _everyone_ thinks it.

**Dan's POV**

I turned away from the door and decided to see if Phil was alright, that's when I noticed his trousers were half way down his legs, his top was half way up his body, and to compliment all of that, his boxers were so fucking low, and I found my self just _staring_.

And apparently, I got a little too carried away with staring at his _(kinda beautiful)_ body as well, because Phil saw me staring and- _shit_... He _saw_ me staring.. He must think I'm a complete and utter _weirdo_ now.

I felt my cheeks flushing red and I looked away instantly, Phil can't see me like this. _God no_.

I took a deep breath before remembering what had actually just happened. Phil was fucking crying underneath her... Fuck, I remember how scared I was when she did that to me, and how Phil had saved me and how I was so ungrateful and how I wanted to hug him because I was terrified and he saved me and.. Oh shit, I haven't even seen if _he's_ okay.

"Fuck. Are you okay?" I asked as I walked closer to the bed, but he didn't reply. He didn't even move, he was just staring at the wall...

"Phil..?" I asked slightly confused, but he still didn't answer so I got even _closer_ to him, and that's when I realised he was asleep _._

He was _actually_ _asleep_.. And I couldn't bring myself to look away from him.

He was so... gentle and fragile looking.

He had this tiny little smile on his lips, I don't think I've ever seen him so _happy_ and _peaceful_ looking before... And for some reason, it was making _me_ happy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of changing the title for this.. What do you think? If you think of any cool names then let me know in the comments? Or if you think I should just leave it then say that instead.. I'm not sure what I think yet. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys liked this chapter, sorry i've been updating less frequently recently, my kitchen was being redone, but my it is pretty much compete now so there wont be any distractions (drilling and hammering walls down) anymore and I can focus, yay. <3
> 
> As always leave feedback in the comments, I love reading it, and I hope you have a wonderful day! ^_^


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is just a quick monologue but I felt I needed to put it here because I haven't posted in a while. There's a lot of stuff going on still in my house e.g. My living room and my actual room is being redone right now so that's why it took me a while. There will be dialogue in the next chapter btw so don't worry and I hope you enjoy (Even if it is just a small chapter). Once again, sorry :/

**Phil's POV**

The painful sound of my alarm blasted throughout my room waking me up from my peaceful sleep.

Memories from last night came flooding back to me all at once, causing me to almost have a _panic attack_ from shock...

I remembered how scared I was, how much I was _shaking_ because I didn't know what to do when Dan shoved me into that locker, but I also remembered how I had felt safe once again, how Dan had _saved_ me from Rebecca. And how I wanted to hug him and hold him because I was so fricking _happy_ that he was there to help me.

It didn't take me long to remember how much pain I was in because of him either, because when I attempted to sit up and rub my eyes I ended up clenching my chest instead at the pain. _Something was definitely broken..._

I sighed heavily before pulling myself up off my bed in a struggle, limping over to my chest of drawers, pulling out some clean school clothes and shoving them on awkwardly, wincing every time I moved too quickly because of the pain it caused in my chest.

When I looked in my mirror I realised how rough I looked. My hair was all over the place and I had bags under my eyes.

I just rolled my eyes, I didn't even care anymore. Why should I try and make my self look half decent when no one even cares anyway?

Grabbing my bag from the floor, I made my way downstairs and walked straight outside before heading towards school. I decided I wasn't hungry right now, or at least I didn't _feel_ like eating today.

I made it to school much later than I usually do; mostly because I was limping the whole way; but also because I just wasn't feeling it today.

I just couldn't give two fucks today, I'm _way_ too exhausted to care.

I got my timetable out to check what lessons I have today. ' _Math, P.E, science and Music'_ I read quietly to myself.

I walked over to my math class reluctantly and entered the room. Luckily, Mr. Fielder, the teacher, was searching through a cupboard so he didn't notice when I slipped in and hobbled over to my seat at the very back. 

That's right, for once in my life, My seat is at the very back and all of the 'cool' kids are at the front; mostly so the teacher can keep an eye on them but I still find it kind of strange considering they usually sit at the very back.

As usual, no one even acknowledged me when I stumbled in, no one except for one person... _Dan_. Which I found very strange, as usually he ignores everyone that walks in, other than his friends.

I looked up as I sat down in my seat to find him staring right at me, but of course when he saw me looking at him, he scowled at me, just like everyday... _Just like he always does._

The worst part is that I thought maybe things would be different after he helped me yesterday, but I guess that was just a one-off thing and he actually doesn't give a _shit_ about me. No one does...

I sighed and shoved my face in my hands.

Fuck maths, I thought that maybe I'd be okay, I thought that I could handle the day, but clearly I was mistaken.

I stayed like that for the whole lesson, not doing any work, just sitting there being unable to move because of the pain in my chest and because of how _done_ I am with life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going on holiday for a week On the 6th of august so I will try my best to finish the next chapter before then but I'm not sure if I'll be able to write whilst I'm there so sorry about that :/ My main priority when I get back though is getting chapter 11 up so it shouldn't take too long :) 
> 
> P.s Thank you for all the lovely comments <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to say I HATE YOU GUYS (I'm joking Ily don't hate me I'm sorry) Because In one of the last chapters I didn't realise I had made a mistake and it said "Rebecca SHIT her head round" Instead of "Rebecca SPUN her head round" Like wtf why you not tell me damnnnn guys come onn! Okay ANYWAY oH My GoD I am sorry I didn't realise I hadn't updated in so long so here is another chapter which I am HOPING you guys will love so yh.. Hope you likee <333
> 
> P.S. THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the nice comments ily all and i could never finish writing this without you lot <3

**Dan's POV**

I looked at Phil three times in Maths.

Once at the beginning of the lesson, once half way through the lesson, and once as I was walking out of the lesson. All of which he was in the exact same position; with his eyes shut and his face shoved into the palms of his hands.

Why I was even looking at him in the first place, _I don't know._ But when he caught me looking at him my first instinct was to scowl at him. And the fact that I felt awful when his facial expression didn't change one bit, took me _completely_ by surprise.

I don't care about Phil, do I?

No, I _definitely_ don't. The only reason why I helped him with Rebecca was because _he helped me._

I pushed all of those thoughts out of my head for now and made my way over to the changing rooms, me and my friends always go to the changing rooms at break when we have P.e because we like to 'change without all of the fags watching us' as they say... It's kind of awkward when I most likely am a fucking 'fag' but they don't have to know that...

We were all changed by the time the bell went and everyone else came in so we all just sat and messed about for a bit before we were called outside.

"Okay ladies, today we're playing rugby so make your way outside now please" Mr. Moore, our sports teacher said.

Rugby? You're kidding right, of all sports in the world you had to choose the _one_ that I hate? Okay, I maybe hate them _all,_ but especially this one...

When we were all outside he simply split us into two teams and said "You already know how to play, so lets go!" And then we were playing. I was doing perfectly well, like, I had managed to avoid the ball so many times so far and it was almost the end of the lesson.

But all _good_ things must come to an end too of course. So all of a sudden I heard Chris (who's on my team) call my name out and before I knew it the ball was being thrown straight into _my_ hands.

I stood still for a second forgetting what exactly I was doing before I realised almost everyone was charging towards me, shoving the memory straight back into my brain causing me to leg it towards the end of the field away from everyone.

I looked behind me as I was running and everyone was _still_ of course charging after me, that's when I saw Phil standing in the corner and my first instinct was to lob the ball towards him. Maybe not the best Idea...

You see, he wasn't exactly looking at me when I threw it. So when I called his name he turned around in shock to come in contact with the ball.. but, his face actually came in contact with the ball instead of his hands. _Whoops?_

He was knocked to ground with a thud causing everyone to burst out laughing.

_I didn't laugh._

In fact, I felt bad, like _really_ bad. Which took me completely by surprise.

"Alright alright, don't get all excited, you can all go back and get changed now okay?" Mr. Moore said and so they all walked off still laughing slightly, mumbling things like 'faggot' and 'he deserved it.'

"Sort Philip out please, I need to go to the office real quick" Mr. Moore said as he jogged away leaving me standing in complete shock. What the fuck? I looked over to Phil to find him still lying on the floor looking up at the cloudy sky.

I'm not sure why, but I found myself laughing at this, It wasn't a harsh kind of laugh, there was nothing spiteful about the laugh at all actually, it was more of a stupid little giggle. _The fuck? Dan, you aren't a little girl what is your problem..?_ I thought to myself.

After I stopped my little 'giggle fit' I walked over to Phil and stared at him with a raised eyebrow. "Um... You planning on getting up anytime soon?" I asked, managing to push away any awkwardness that I was feeling from having to talk to him after he found me  _staring_ at him last night.

He looked at me for the first time since this morning with an unreadable expression scattered across his face.

"I can't" He replied simply. Not stuttering _at all,_ which was extremely weird. Usually he stutters at least once when talking to me- well... Actually when talking to _anyone_ I guess.

"What do you mean you  _can't"_ I asked trying not to stutter myself, because what if he hadn't forgot about yesterday? What if that's why he wasn't stuttering. Maybe he's figured me out, he thinks I'm gay or something because of when I was staring at him (not that I find him _hot_ or anything) and now he's going to use that against me and tell everyone to get back at me and oh... _Fuck my life._

He sighed. "You can leave now. I-I'll get up on my own" He said, and he stuttered... So, shouldn't I be relieved? Maybe he _is_ still scared of me, so.. Why do I still feel the need to help him?

"I can help you" I said before I could think about it, holding a hand out to him. He just ignored me.

"J-just, I can do it myself just l-leave okay?" He asked desperately. Why am I even arguing with him about this? He doesn't want my help, and I-I don't _want_ to help him.

I should just leave and stop making myself look like an idiot. I thought for a second before mumbling a quick "Kay" and walking back towards the changing rooms.

I found myself giving him one last glance as I walked away only to find him falling over after trying to stand up on his own and clenching his chest as if it was broken or something.

I don't know why I did, but I suddenly found myself walking straight back over to him with a sigh.

"You _do_ need my help" I said making him jump as he thought I had left already.

"I... I d-" I cut him off "Just let me help you for God's sake!" I said maybe too aggressively, because I seemed to make him flinch.

"I.... But- Okay." He finally agreed with a sigh as he stared at the ground.

I held my hand out and he grabbed it, sending a small, weird shiver down my spine that I tried my best to ignore. I pulled him up to his feet and as soon as I let go of his hand for him to stand on his own, he _literally_ started falling over again.

"Dude!" I shouted as I lunged forwards to catch him. I found myself holding him up tightly. "What are you doing?" I asked in an embarrassingly high pitched tone.

"I think I broke my ribs or someth- O-Or someth..." _And then he was passing out_. "What th- Phil?" I asked staring at him in disbelief.

There's no way he just passed out on me, right? I looked around me for anyone that could help, but everyone was already gone and I was just left here alone with a passed out Phil. I thought for a moment... I can't just leave him here, but I can't bring him back inside either can I?

I mean, If I do I'm sure my friends will just do something worse to him, and if he's passed out and he  _has_ broken his ribs for some reason, then surely It would be inhumane to let them touch him. Right?

After a few more seconds of thought I sighed and settled on the last option I had left.

I'm just going to have to carry him back to his house, aren't I? _Shit..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there ya go guys another chapter :)
> 
> I'm still thinking of changing the title to this fic because I think the one at the moment is quite bad so if you leave some more suggestions then I'll choose the best one and use it!! yeah lol hope you guys enjoyed and I will get started on the next chapter RIGHT AWAY!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> So you may have noticed that I uploaded this chapter earlier but then deleted it straight after... Well that's because I accidentally posted it before I was finished with it (because I'm a stupid twat) but I'm finally done with it now and here it is (:
> 
> P.S this is going to be kind of an emotional chapter I guess? Just a heads up! ^_^

**Dan's POV**

I was already nearly at Phil's house when I finally remembered that I'd left our bags and clothes at school. I sighed and just carried on walking, I can just go back and get them later, I thought.

When I reached his house I was relieved to find that his front door was carelessly left unlocked, but not too impressed when I remembered his room was _upstairs_.

I closed the door behind myself with my foot, as my arms were kind of full with Phil's tiny body at the moment, and walked over to the staircase.

I debated just putting him on the sofa or something but decided against it. He'll probably be more comfortable in his own bed, not that I care, I just- I don't know, _whatever_.

It was hard getting up the stairs whilst holding someone, but Phil was fairly light for someone as tall as him so I managed to do it without falling or dropping him.

I don't even know why I'm going through all this trouble for  _Phil._ (Maybe it's because I know he'd do the same for me, but that doesn't mean I like him, right? No, I'd just feel bad and I'd get into trouble If I left him).

I walked up to his bed and gently put him down, trying my absolute best to be careful.

I have a horrible feeling that the reason why he's in so much pain is because of when my friends and I shoved him in that locker, and that made me feel like an absolute _dick_.

Which was annoying because I never  _usually_ care when we hurt Phil. Like sure, I always feel a  _little_ bad but we don't ever actually try to brake his  _bones._ Well, I sure as hell haven't ever tried to, anyway.

Sitting down on the bed next to him and looking at him, I realised that his black hoodie was twisted all around his body from where I'd been carrying him. I thought about it for a moment before thinking I should probably just take it off. It's pretty hot in here anyway, and I wouldn't want him to pass out  _again_ from the heat of something just after he wakes up.

I untwisted it from around his torso until I was actually able to pull it off, _and then I did..._

What I saw next, made my heart literally  _shatter_ into a million pieces.

After a few moments of me just being completely frozen, I dropped the hoodie onto the floor and hesitantly grabbed his hands so I could take a better look.

 _Scars_. Fresh ones and old ones were scattered across both of his wrists, and I _couldn't breath._

I didn't really notice until one of my tears dropped onto his arm- but I was _crying_.

Even though I didn't really want to see, I let my curiosity get the better of me and I lifted his top up to check for any more damage. I was relieved to find that there were only scars on his wrists, but I was speechless anyway.

How could I have been so blind? How could I have been so fucking  _stupid?_

I was pretty much bawling my eyes out now as I buried by face into his chest.

"Phil I- I didn't kno- I'm _so_ sorry, I really don't hate you, I wish I c-could take back everything I said, I only ever did any of this because I-I thought it was okay because my friends were, b-but It's _not_ okay. And I-I'm so... _S_ _o,_ fucking _sorry!"_ I managed to get out between sobs.

I didn't even care if he was awake yet or not to hear this, I just wanted to get out how much I wish I had apologised sooner.

Because even though I had only just realised, I've really never  _hated him_ , if I'm honest, I've just _told_ myself that because I didn't want to admit that I was a _horrible_ person.

I've always pretended like he was the one in the wrong, _just_ so I could feel better about being an asshole for copying my friends in bullying him. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm a fucking freak. I should never have caused him this pain... I never meant to...

"D-Dan?" I heard a small, croaky voice stutter out tiredly.

I immediately shot up and wiped at my eyes as I tried to stop crying, but I just _couldn't_.

"Wha- What's wrong? Why are you crying? I-" He started saying but he stopped himself when he spotted his black hoodie on the floor.

For a few seconds he just sat there slightly clueless, but then it seemed to hit him and his head instantly snapped down to look at his exposed wrists. He started shaking and his breathing became more and more rapid by the second.

It took my stupid brain a few moments to realise that he was in fact, having a panic attack. I figured that I needed to stop panicking _myself_ and help him now, so I put on a brave face, wiped away my tears and took a deep breath.

"Phil, I-It's okay, you need to breath properly alright? Look, breath when I say okay?" I said calmly but he just ignored me. I sighed and figured that he must've heard me he was just panicking too much to nod or anything, so I continued.

"I'm going to put my arm around you now, okay? So don't get scared or anything, it's just me" I said as I moved closer to him and slowly wrapped my arm around him so I could pull him closer into a hug.

"Calm down and try to breath with me okay? Breath in... Breath out." I said and I carried on like this for a few minutes. After a while his breathing slowed down and returned to its normal pace, but his shaking still carried on and It made me want to just take him into the biggest hug ever so I could comfort him, and that's _exactly_ what I did.

I put my other arm around his body and pulled him closer to me.

"W-Why are you b-being so nice to me" He asked shakily making my insides burn with guilt.

"I'm so sorry" I admitted finally, and it felt so _good_ to say it to his face.

"I... I-" He began saying but before he could finish he burst into tears.

"You don't understand Phil. I've never hated you, you're such a great person and I never wanted to hurt you this way, I'm such an _asshole"_ I said almost choking on my words, and before I knew it I was also crying my eyes out into Phil's warm body. Again.

"Please don't cry, It's okay." Phil said, and that just made me angry. After all I've done, how could he be so nice to me just like  _that?_ I don't understand.

"Stop!" I shouted as I sobbed, making him jump a little.

"S-Stop what? It's okay, please don't cry, I'm sorry for making you cry, Dan _please_ stop" He said all at once and I couldn't stand it anymore.

"That! Stop _that!_ Stop being so fucking kind and generous to an asshole like me! I don't deserve your kindness, I'm a horrible person and I- I just, I fucking deserve to _die"_ I cried out no longer in control of everything I was saying, and all of a sudden he _stopped_ crying.

"Dan..." He said, voice completely stern and serious. What the hell? How is he so calm all of a sudden, he's meant to be the one that's upset, not  _me._

"Y-Yeah..?" I asked, looking up to him to find he was staring at me with a face that was filled with absolute care and _concern_.

"Don't ever say that. Okay? You don't deserve to die, you _are_ a good person, you aren't  _really_ an asshole, sure, you may have acted like one, but I _know_ you're not" He said and fuck...

I think that's the most he's ever said to me without stuttering in his _entire_ life. I stared at him blankly.

"How can you be so kind to someone as horrible as me?" I asked with a croaky voice as I tried to calm myself down. "I don't understand how you can be this kind after I've caused you _all_ this pain" I added.

He sighed and looked away, looking less confident and more sad now, it broke my heart. When did I even start caring this much about him? Or  _anyone_ for that matter.

"Look, Dan I- It wasn't really you." He said before pausing for thought. "I mean sure, having you being mean to me and beating me up every now and then did play a small part in it, but that's not the main reason for... For, t-this" He said looking down at his arms as if he was ashamed of himself.

"What do you mean?" I asked, not taking my eyes away from him. What could've happened to him that's worse than what me and my 'friends' do?

**Phil's POV**

I shouldn't of said that, I should've just kept my mouth shut. But how was I meant to let Dan take all of the blame for what I've done to myself? Like I said, having him being like his is to me every single day sure as hell was shitty, but even though I may not have admitted it before, I knew there was another reason.

I never liked to think that it was really a problem. Every day I would just pretend it was normal and I would just never think about it because I knew there was no point, no one was going to do anything about it.

My dad is abusive towards me and I _hate_ it. I ignore it and pretend it doesn't happen, I act like I don't realise it's wrong and I tell myself I'm 'used to it' and I 'deserve it' but I know what he does to me is wrong. I just don't know If I'm prepared to tell anyone that yet.

I mean, what happens if he finds out that I've told someone? It's not like I can run to my _mum_ or even my _brother_ for help, because they do it too.

I'm surrounded by a bunch of people that  _hate_ my guts, and I'm absolutely _terrified_.

So although I may never have admitted it, that is _so_ much more terrifying than having bullies at school. Knowing that I'm not even safe in my own _home_ is just- well, absolutely _horrible_.

I can't tell Dan this, can I? But I also can't let him take all the blame. Fuck, what the hell am I supposed to do with myself? My life is fucked up in _so_ many ways, I just need someone to help me...

Then, all of a sudden I was crying all over again, and Dan was _comforting_ me all over again. When did this happen? When did he become so caring? And why was I so grateful for him being here right now?

So many questions flew around my head as I sobbed into his arms, _I'm so pathetic._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL OKAY HOPE YOU LIKED SORRY FOR MAKING THEM BOTH SAD ATM IT WILL GET BETTER I SWEAR!
> 
> No but seriously I hope you guys liked this chapter, if you did then be sure to leave a comment or if you haven't already you don't know how much I'd appreciate the Kudos or Bookmarks :) 
> 
> I hope to see you all again soon BYE <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again frens!!!!!!!! I'm so exited to be able to write again! You don't know how frustrating it's been having a broken keyboard!!! It's actually still broken and I will probably never get it fixed (Whoops) But I'm using someone else's laptop right now to write and I will hopefully be able to use this laptop whenever I need to update from now on ^_^
> 
> Anyway I won't bother you with my lame excuses any longer xD I hope you enjoy this chapter!<333

**Dan's POV**

I haven't stopped thinking about Phil since I left his house yesterday. He wasn't telling me everything, and that makes me feel like complete and utter shit.

Does he not trust me or something..? _Well,_ I mean why would he trust me? I've been such a fucking horrible person to him and caused him so much _pain_.

That's the thing though, did I cause him so much pain? His words left me completely and utterly confused...

He had said that there was something else, something that had apparently been the main cause for- well, what he has done to himself. He seemed so reluctant to tell me though, and to be honest, he was probably just lying to make me feel better. Not sure why he'd want to do that anyway, I'm a dick.

It was an inset day today so we didn't have to go to school and I had planned to go to Phil's today to 'work on the science project.' That isn't really the reason I'm going there though,  _I need to find out if what he said was true._

Is there really something else that has been bothering him? If so, what is it?

With all these thoughts flooding my brain, I got dressed and ready to go to Phil's.

**Phil's POV**

I'm such an idiot. Why did I even mention that there was something else? Dan probably doesn't even care. This was all probably just some sick joke he planned with his friends and he's going to pretend to like me just to embarrass me. He probably already knew about the scars and he was probably just fake crying to make it seem as if he liked me.  _Probably_...

You see the thing is, I literally have no clue anymore. I honestly thought he hated my guts and that he'd do anything to get away from me. But he seemed so sincere yesterday and he seemed really upset by what I had done...

That's what made me blurt it out. I couldn't let him sit there and take all the blame for what had happened. Because it's not all his fault. But I'm not sure I'm ready to tell him everything else yet.

I mean, I hardly know him. I only saw his true self yesterday when he was crying his eyes out. Unless of course everything _was_ a lie and he really doesn't give a shit about me.

That would suck, because If I'm being honest, I'm kind of excited for today.

I feel like I should be dreading today, but having just the tiniest bit of reassurance that someone out there _does_ really care about me after all makes me so happy, because who'd of thought it? Phil Lester with an actual _friend!?_

Well I shouldn't get carried away. All he said was that he's sorry, he didn't mention anything about us being _friends_.

I sighed as I remembered that we weren't really friends. I can't let myself get attached to him just because of yesterday. He was most likely either making a joke or just shocked at what I'd done to myself and that's the only reason why he apologised.

I looked at the time to find that Dan should be coming in about two hours, so I figured I should probably have a shower and get dressed. 

I thought about a way of telling Dan about everything without being to ashamed of myself whilst I was in the shower, but nothing seemed good enough. I kept acting the scenarios out in my head and all of them ended in either him telling all of his friends and laughing at me, or him just not caring at all.

I rolled my eyes and wrapped a towel around myself before wiping the condensation off of the mirror and taking a long hard look at myself.

I couldn't help but to cringe at myself. I was just so... _ugh,_ I don't know. I just find it so unfair that I have to be the one to look like this, why couldn't I be skinny and good looking, why did I have to be born like _this?_

So far today had been pretty shitty, and I haven't even seen anyone but myself yet.

Once I had finally showered, dried myself, got dressed and looked at the clock again, a whole hour and a half had passed. Dan was coming in literally half an hour, and I hoped to dear God that things weren't going to be like usual.

Just as I was about to sit down my stomach made a huge growling sound that almost scared me it was so loud. I rolled my eyes and decided a pop tart couldn't hurt, so I made my way downstairs and entered the kitchen.

The sound of the front door slamming as my mum left for work didn't bother me, I was used to that by now. But it was when I heard the sound of my dad yelling through the closed door about how much of a 'fucking bitch' my mum was that made me do it.

"Fuck!" I screeched loudly as I watched my fathers bottle of whiskey smash on the floor after I inconveniently whacked it over with my arm in shock. I stared wide-eyed at the mess of alcohol and shattered glass all over the ground in horror.

"Fuck fuck fuck what the  _fuck_ is wrong with me!?" I whispered under my breath as I began to panic. "Phil? What was that!?" My dad shouted questioningly from the hallway and I froze. As soon as he see's this he's going to absolutely _flip_.

"Phil!" He shouted slightly louder this time sounding more frustrated. Oh God.. Oh  _shit._

 _Maybe it will be fine. Maybe you can just apologise and it will be fine?_ I thought to myself, but then I remembered how pissed he sounded at my mum a second ago, and pretty much all hope was lost for things being fine.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear my dad storming into the kitchen to see what was going on.

"What's going o-" He stopped.

"I-I didn't mean to I'm really sorry dad please I can pay you back If you just give me some time I'll clean it up too don't worry I didn't mean it please I'm so sorry" I rushed out all at once as I stared at him hopelessly.

"Are you fucking kidding Phil!?" He asked shaking his head and sighing. It seemed rhetorical so I didn't answer. "Are you.. For fucks sake, why? Why are you so much fucking hard work Phil!?" He says louder this time.

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean it" I managed to get out, instantly regretting it.

"Do I look like I care if you fucking meant it or not? No! The answer is no!" He yelled as he started pacing around the room. He seemed really fucking mad and _shit_ , I knew this was going to happen. I go a few days untouched and then all of a sudden I fuck everything up.

I got lucky last time i annoyed him. But this time he was already mad, and he seemed slightly drunk already by the way he was slightly slurring his words. So I was definitely in the shit for sure.

"Why are you just standing there!?" He shouted angrily making me jump. He was really scaring me, usually he would've hit me or something and left by now but he was dragging everything out and it scared the shit out of me.

"W-what do you w-want me to d-do?" I asked, and to be honest I probably should've just stayed quiet.

"What do I want you to do? Oh, well it'd be fucking  _great_ if you could just get the  _fuck_ out of my life!" he practically screamed. "I'm sorry!" I defended myself. Or at least I  _tried._

I guess I was so busy standing there shaking like an idiot that I didn't even notice my dad start storming towards me like a mad man.

I did however notice when he raised his arm right in front of me, and that's when It finally registered in my head what was happening. I instinctively threw my hands in front of my face to try and protect myself but I didn't realise that he wasn't actually _aiming_ for my face.

Before I knew it his fist collided with my already fucked up chest causing me the most pain I think I've ever felt in my entire life; and that's saying something.

Clearly the sound of me whimpering from the pain wasn't good enough for him, so he gave me one last pound to the chest and pushed me onto the floor. "You need to be more like your brother" was all he said before he marched out of the house and made his way to work.

I sat there pathetically on the floor staring at the mess that had yet to be cleaned up, and all of a sudden, I just fucking broke down.

My breathing became more rapid by the second and the tears just came pouring out of my eyes. "W-why does e-everyone h-hate me?" I asked myself quietly as I watched my tears mix with the whiskey.

After about four failed attempts at trying to stand up I sighed deeply and gave up. I was pretty sure I needed to rest for at least a week or two, maybe even a month before my ribs felt _any_ better.

I scanned the whole kitchen for something that _might_ help me actually stand up but I was crying so much that I couldn't even see anything, and just when I was about to  _completely_ give up, the door bell rang. Fuck, I forgot about Dan.

I was panicking even more now, he can't see me like this  _again._ I started scanning the room faster and tried to wipe away all my tears at the same time but it was useless. I'm just a stupid, crying mess that can't ever do  _anything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked this it took me ages to be able to get it out as you know haha...
> 
> WELL, hopefully the next chapter will be up faster than this one was.. *awkwardly laughs* Um.. Yeah so, bye. ^_^


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy all you beautiful people! So you're probably wondering why I take so FUCKING long to update, and honestly, I don't want to bore you with my life story. Just know that I'm really sorry for being gone for so long and... Here's another chapter? Hopefully you like it (:

**Dan's POV**

No answer... I had Knocked on the door three times now and there was still no answer.

I thought for a moment about just leaving. Maybe, after all that happened yesterday he remembered how.. well,  _gay_ I seemed. I mean he _did_ find me staring at his  _bare_ chest. I wouldn't be surprised if I had completely scared him.

I sighed and started to turn away when I heard a loud thud from the inside making me freeze.

"Phil?" I said to the door after a moment. Once again, there was no answer. I rolled my eyes, It's kind of a dick move to completely ignore me when I'm only here to help. He's obviously in there, so what the _fuck_.

I was getting kind of agitated by this, when all of a sudden I remembered. His chest.. Didn't he say he thought he broke his ribs? Isn't that why he fainted? "Shit" I whispered under my breath.

For a second I just stood there not really knowing what to do, but then I decided that maybe I should just call him, the reason why he isn't answering the door is probably because he  _can't._

The phone rang for quite a while, but  _finally,_  after a minute or two,someone picked up.

"Phil? Are you okay? I've knocked like, three times now and you didn't answer and then I heard a loud noise and-" I stopped, because did I just hear a fricking sniffle?

"Um, Phil?" I said wondering if maybe it was just my imagination. But then there were more sniffles, and I think I literally felt my heart drop because  _shit._

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked feeling a wave of panic rush over me, all I could think about was the scars on his arms. Oh shit, what if he was doing that right no-

"D-Dan?" He asked shakily cutting my thoughts off completely. 

"Phil are you okay? You sound like you've been crying?" I replied worriedly.

"S-Sorry I'm fine, I heard you k-knock on the door, I-I'll be there In a sec" He said and he sounded so upset that I couldn't  _not_ say something.

"Phil you're clearly not fine, I think the door is unlocked, I'll just let myself in okay? Stay where you are" I said not wanting him to hurt himself anymore by getting the door.

"No!" He said all to quickly shocking me completely.

"I'm... I'm fine just, wait" he said shakily.

"You're not fine Phil"

"I am-"

"Stop. Phil, just stop. You're not okay, I can tell. Just stay where you are okay? I'll come to you. You don't have to worry about anything, I'll be there in a second" I stated calmly as I began opening the door.

I heard shaky breaths down the Phone and I could tell Phil was crying again, and that made my heart skip a million beats.

I figured out that the noises were coming from the kitchen and ran there as fast as I could finding Phil on the floor shaking uncontrollably as tears streamed down his face.

Just when I thought I couldn't be any more worried I saw smashed glass had been shattered all over the kitchen floor which made my whole face drop even more than it already had.

"Oh my God... Phil, what happened?" I asked covering my mouth with my hands in shock. What the hell happened in here? What the actual _fuck._

"I-I-I Smashed the b-bottle by accident a-and my dad g-got mad" He stuttered unable to stop the tears that mixed with the blood on his shirt.

Fuck... There's blood on his shirt.

I ran over to him and held him in my arms as I scanned his whole body in search for where the blood was coming from. Then I looked at his hand to find he was resting it in the shattered glass and he didn't even look liked he cared, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Phil you have to get up, the glass is cutting your hand!" I warned him as I tried to stand him up.

"N-No, I can't" He said pulling away from my touch, but I wasn't listening to him anymore. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't watch him get hurt like this anymore. I couldn't stand the sight of him crying, it made me feel like absolute fucking _shit_.

Before I knew it I was picking Phil up like it was nothing and taking him into the living room where I sat him up gently on the sofa.

He didn't pull away from my touch this time, he didn't even say anything as I wet some tissue, cleaned his cut, and rummaged through all the cupboards before finding a bandage to wrap around his hand.

It was only until after I finished caring for him that I realised he wouldn't even  _Look_ at me. He looked too ashamed of himself to do anything whatsoever.

"Look at me Phil" I said quietly, I wanted him to feel safe, like he could _trust_ me.

When he didn't say anything back or even give me one small glance, I placed a hand on his tear-stained cheek and slowly edged his face to look at me. His face moved, but his eyes didn't. It was as if he was too embarrassed to look at me, which made me sad.

"Please?" I asked, even quieter than before if that was even possible.

He sighed but finally his blue, ocean-like eyes flicked over to my own and I couldn't help but to admit to myself how fucking _pretty_ he was.

I was so lost in his perfect complexion that I couldn't bring myself to look away.

I was also so lost that at first I didn't realise myself slowly inching closer to him.

When I did notice, I was surprised to find that I didn't try to stop myself.

It was almost as if I had been waiting to do this for my entire life.

But that couldn't be possible, could it? Or could it...

I kept getting closer, and closer, and closer. Until finally, I was simply a mere centimetre away from his face.

He didn't look away, and neither did I.

There was something in me that wanted to pull back and run away as If nothing had happened, but there was another part of me that told me this was something special.

I didn't know what to do, I was so close to touching lips with a boy who I had pretended to hate for my whole life, but I could easily look away if I wanted to..

 

 

Did I want to though..?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so um... Shit.  
> I had so many comments on the last chapter saying how they can't handing all these cliff hangers, but well... Here's another for ya! Sorry..
> 
> See you all next time, whenever that may be... ^_^
> 
>  
> 
> P.S I'm sorry I know this chapter is kinda short but what can I say? I need to sort my life out xD


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.  
> I am alive..
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> L O L

**Phil's POV**

It was as if all of the pain that I had been suffering from before just disappeared for a few seconds.

I felt like _this_ moment, _right_ here, _right_ now, was going to be one of those moments that I will never _ever_ forget about.

Because _right_ now, Dan Howell, the fucking most amazingly beautiful boy in the universe, had _his_ lips on _mine_...

I honestly felt like for the entirety of this moment, all of my worries and fears went away.

It was like we were the only people in the world, and for once in my life, I felt like I _actually_ belonged.

It was short and sweet, but it still sent waves of electricity all over my body.

I bit my lip as he pulled away ever so slowly and looked up into his chocolatey coloured eyes, only to find him staring right back into my own, also biting his lip.

"I-" He started, but it was as if he was lost for words.. As was I.

I did everything in my power to try and stop the stupid little smile that began to appear on my face, but it wasn't enough.

My lips curled upwards sightly and I flicked my eyes away from his in embarrassment, not really knowing what to say or do in this moment.

I felt confused, excited, scared, embarrassed, happy and a million other emotions that I had never felt before in my life..

**Dan's POV**

I was terrified.

Did I seriously just..  _kiss_ Phil?

A series of new emotions surged through my body as I pulled away from his soft, gentle cherry lips.

I tried saying something to excuse my sudden behaviour, but I couldn't even form a proper sentence, so all I managed to get out was a simple "I".

I almost thought he might push me away, tell me I'm some sort of freak.. But he didn't...

No, what he did instead though made my heart skip a million beats.

His cheeks turned purple as he looked down in embarrassment, and his perfectly shaped lips curved upwards as a small smile formed on his face.

Looking at him now, I mentally punched myself straight in the face for not noticing how freaking beautiful this boy is before.

It was clear that neither of us had a clue about what to say or do next, so for once in my life, I just had to go with my gut instinct.

I found myself slowly tilting his chin up with my small, hesitant hands so that I could get a better view of his pretty face, and before I knew it I was leaning in again, and to my surprise, I found Phil was inching towards me as well, making a dozen butterflies appear in my stomach.

Our lips touched for the second time, and it felt just as amazing and confusing as the first.

I felt my body shiver as Phil's hand found its way to my face and he gently brushed it against my reddening cheek.

It was actually him that opened his mouth slightly to deepen the kiss, taking me  _completely_ by surprise. It was almost like he actually knew what he was doing, whereas I on the other hand, didn't have a clue.

This was my first kiss.. And to say I was scared would be the biggest understatement ever. And because of this, I almost felt grateful for Phil being a bit more confident than me right now.

Our lips moved perfectly together and Phil's hand slid to the back of my neck where he made small circular motions with his fingers on my skin as he deepened the kiss even more.

He gently bit down on my bottom lip making me gasp slightly, and he took this as an opportunity to slowly slip his tongue into my mouth.

My eyes widened at this and I almost pulled away in shock, but I then realised that I would absolutely frickin hate myself if I did that, and thankfully I stopped myself.

I was unfamiliar with this sort of thing, but it felt so right, and so what if I did it wrong? I somehow knew that there was no way Phil would make me feel like a fool, so I just went for it. 

I too began to move my tongue along with his, and  _fuck_ this was a  _whole_ new level of kissing that I was so happy to be experiencing right now.

Our naive tongues continued to explore each others mouths passionately, and I wanted this moment to last forever.. Because I think that this was definitely one of the greatest things I have ever experienced before in my life. Phil was just so.. _Amazing_.

But of course, the universe for some reason decided that today it wanted to really fuck with Phil and me.

A loud bang sounded in the hallway from the front door being swung open carelessly, resulting in it smashing into the wall.

Phil and I immediately jumped away from each other, shock and surprise evident in our eyes from the rude intrusion.

"I suh-swear to G-god, I'll kill the little shit. He nu-needs to b-be taught a lesson" a loud, obnoxious and obviously drunk man's voice slurred as he stumbled towards the kitchen.

Confusion and curiosity took over my body as the man lousily made his way through the house, and when I looked over to Phil, I think I literally felt my heart drop into my stomach, because shit.. Phil's face was full of absolute terror and dread.

Tears started to fill his eyes as he began to shake, he definitely looked as if he was about to have a panic attack, and there was no way I was going to let that happen.

"Phil? Phil what's wrong!?" I blurted out quickly, beginning to panic myself now because of how sad and scared he looked.

The tears started falling down his soft pale cheeks as his eyes flicked over to mine.

I instantly moved my hands to his face and attempted to wipe away the tears with my thumbs, but it was useless, they were literally pouring from his eyes.

"D-Dan, I-It's my-my dad" Phil stuttered out, before wrapping his arms around my waist and holding his face close to my chest.

I was so overwhelmed with all the different feelings that were washing over my body right now, and all I could think to do was just hold Phil and tell him everything was going to be okay.

But there was this awfully horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that was making me question weather or not that was actually true...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)
> 
> -Please don't hate me I already hate myself so it's okay-
> 
> P.s BEFORE y'all start attacking me about the cliff hangers and shit, just note that this fic will have a happy ending so it's not ALL sadness and tears hah... Yeah.. ANYwAyYy Thank you for the lovely comments, if it weren't for those then this chapter would have probably never been uploaded. :)


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